bullet points

• I spent an entire day last week watching a marathon of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  I am so ashamed.
• Has anyone been watching Honey Boo Boo?  Apparently it is rubbing off on me, as I just bought a huge barrel of cheese balls.  I had to make sure no one was around when I took it from the car into my apartment.  I was like a white trash ninja.
• Have I mentioned before that I love spending other people's money?  I spent $970 at ShopKo tonight.  It doesn't even matter that I don't get to keep the stuff, it's just the thrill of picking things out and buying them.
• Lorri's coming to visit from Wyoming tonight.  Yay!
• Last weekend was great.  It was fun catching up with friends, hanging out at the farm and seeing my old clients.  
• I also had a couple of epiphanies while there.  I'm not going to go into what led to them, but I feel like the door is now closed on me ever moving back to Wyoming, and I'm ok with that.  I also realized that when it comes to my love life, I'm not willing to settle just so I can be with someone. 
• I've been reading obsessively lately.  I can't get enough of Harlan Coben and Lee Child books.  I'm seriously going through one book every day and a half or so. 

a quickie

I'm about to head up to Wyoming for a quick weekend vacation.  I can't wait to get out of the haze and heat of Utah!  My old roommate, Meagan, will be in town so I'm going to hang out at her family's farm/ranch and catch up with all my old friends up there.  I'm also going to go see my old clients!!!  I can't wait to see them!  It's been way too long since I've gotten my Jane and Connie hugs. 

I have to say . . . I really miss Wyoming sometimes.  I think maybe I'll end up back there someday.  Probably not in the very near future, but definitely someday.  I think it'll always feel like home there.  It has since the first time I went up there in 2005. 

Anyway . . . enough rambling.  I should probably stop watching Hallmark movies and finish packing now.

Things I'm pondering

• I'm feeling antsy again.  I think I need a hobby.  I don't really do anything crafty.  I like to cook, but don't have anyone to cook for or the money to buy any fancy ingredients.  Maybe I should take a community class or something.  
• I really need to find a way to get my staff to (for lack of a better way to say it) give a shit.  We're a not for profit, so what we can pay them per hour is based on what the government will pay, which means not much.  How do I motivate people to do a good job when they don't make much money?  I keep thinking they must care at least a little bit considering they could probably make more money at McDonald's, but I know that when I'm not there, most of them sit around and do nothing.  
• I think I might be emotionally unavailable.
• I keep thinking that maybe I should go back to school, but I think it's just because I'm bored.
• I'm finding it difficult to bond with my clients here like I did with my clients in Wyoming.  I feel like I need to find a way to form better relationships with them.  Until I do, I don't think I'm giving them the best care that I'm capable of. 

So . . . anyone have any suggestions?

latest obsessions

• Awkward.
• Hallmark Movie Channel
• Olympic drama
• middle-aged lesbians 
• Fourth-Place Medal
• fortune cookies
• reading books actually printed on paper

goings on

The day before I left for Paris I signed a lease on a new apartment, so the time since I got back has been spent moving.  Always so much fun!  This is the fourth time I've moved now in the last two years and I always say I will get rid of lots of books, but I still somehow end up with about 50 heavy book boxes.  I just need to get rid of stuff in general.  Oh well, hopefully I will be in this place for a while and I won't have to worry about moving any time soon.  Here are my thoughts on being in my own place again:

• Other than to go to work, I haven't worn clothes for days.  I've missed walking around in just undies!  It really saves on the electric bill too-I rarely have to turn the air on. 
• Cooking for one person sucks.  I can't do it.  I've been eating lots of frozen food.
• It doesn't help that my kitchen is still not fully unpacked.  I would be a lot more willing to cook if I knew where things were.
• I had house guests last week.  This is one of the main reasons I wanted a two bedroom place.  It was so much fun having people over to stay.  Of course it meant I had to put all the unpacked boxes in my bedroom while they were here, but no worries, they're all moved back into the spare bedroom now.  I'm working on them a little bit at a time.
• I have no decorations up yet-no pictures on the walls, no knick knacks on the bookcases, etc.  All in good time.  I need someone to help put pictures up-any volunteers?
• I love the location.  Everything is convenient and nearby, including work.  My commute is now 10-15 minutes.  
• This place has tons of closet space!  What's sad is that I'll probably be able to fill it up.  I really, really need to get rid of stuff! 

Paris Summary

Favorite things:

• Marie-Antoinette's English peasant village at Versailles
• the Louvre
• the Musee D'Orsay
• L'Orangerie
• fresh baguettes every morning

Least favorite things:

• Most of Versailles
• the crypt at Notre Dame
• the price of everything
• not speaking the language
• feeling like a schlub next to all of the impeccably dressed Parisians 

Favorite foods:

• baguettes, obviously
• these pastries that had a waffle cone-like shell, then a custard inside, and were topped with fresh raspberries

Least favorite food:

• A quiche my dad bought the last morning that had fish in it.  I don't mind fish, but this was gross and I threw it up.

Most overrated:

• Champs Elysees
• the Mona Lisa

Most underrated:

• The kindness of the French people

Paris Day 7

Our last day in Paris we all went our separate ways to try to fit in the last couple of things we each wanted to see.  My dad and I went to L'Orangerie first, which is a smaller art museum that has some amazing works of art.  My favorite part was two oval rooms that were completely lined with Monet's Nympheas panels (part of his water lily paintings).  It was pretty awe-inspiring.  There were also works by Cezanne, Renoir, Modigliani and many others.  It wasn't very crowded and the size of the museum was just right; I didn't feel rushed to see everything and it wasn't overwhelming.

We then walked through the Tuileries Gardens and went back to the Louvre for a few more hours.  We split up there so that my dad could take many more hundreds of pictures (I think his total for the day was over 700).  I managed to fit in everything I hadn't seen before-the Egyptian, Greek, Roman, and Near Eastern sections.  I also checked out Napoleon's apartments and the decorative arts section, then made my way to the gift shop.  There are actually several gift shops at the Louvre, and they all line a large hallway, at the end of which is the inverted pyramid you may remember from the end of The Da Vinci Code.  Was I perhaps in the presence of the remains of Mary Magdalene?  Hmmm . . .

Everyone met up after that for lunch and then my dad went back to the Louvre to take even more pictures, while the rest of us went to the Centre Georges Pompidou.  It's this really neat building that is kind of inside out.  There are visible pipes everywhere, both inside and out, that are color coded for water, electrical wires, etc. and there's a glass-enclosed escalator on the outside of the building that was cool to ride, but unbelievably hot inside.  The Centre also houses a large modern art museum.  They have a section that they redo every two years with new art and artists and then a permanent collection as well.  I'm not a huge modern art fan, but there were many great paintings there, including the Chagall painting that was in Notting Hill. 

I then went to a grocery store to get some fun treats to bring home with me (best place to get gifts to bring home to people, in my opinion) and then went back to the condo.  I messed up my right foot somehow during this trip and I didn't think I could stand any more walking around.  Even cutting the day a little bit short, it was still a great ending to a great trip.

Paris Day 6

Today we got up early and went to Versailles.  I wasn't overly impressed.  Well, I was impressed by the size of it-it really is huge, but overall, it was probably one of my least favorite sites that we've been to.  The Palace was huge, but we were only able to go to a small portion of it and I thought the insides of the Royal Palace in Madrid were far more impressive than at Versailles.  The famous Hall of Mirrors was just o.k.  All in all, I wasn't a huge fan.  It did, however, contain one of my favorite little areas of the whole trip-Marie-Antoinette's little peasant farm village.  That tiny area was great-cute, little buildings with thatched roofs, a small lake with fish, very impressive vegetable gardens, and even some animals.  If I had my pick of the actual Palace of Versailles, the Grand Trianon, the Petit Trianon or the peasant village, I would most definitely choose to live in the peasant village.  Royalty, I am not!

If you're in Paris and want to go to Versailles, I would recommend that you go earlier in your trip rather than later.  There is a ton of walking (and I have several large blisters on my feet from walking around yesterday), both to get to the actual entrance of the Palace from the metro stop, not a ton inside the building, but then tons more on the grounds.  We rented bikes to ride around the grounds, which was the best idea ever, but to get to where you can even ride bikes, there's a pretty long walk (which is uphill on the way back, right when you're the most tired).  Riding around the grounds was definitely fun, though.  I haven't been on a bike in years and it took me a minute to get used to it, but it was well worth it.  It wasn't hugely expensive either and once you get out there on the grounds, there aren't many people around.  Btw, I keep saying grounds, but technically I believe they are gardens.  I refuse to say gardens, though, because it's more like a forest.  There's a small area with actual flowers, but the rest is pools and trees and grass. 

Also, make sure that you're prepared for massive amounts of people.  We didn't go on either of the two busiest days of the week, but it was still insane-wall to wall people inside the Palace.  Obviously, there are less outside, but if you walk around where it's shady (which you definitely should because it's really hot out there-side note--don't wear a black t-shirt, bring a hat and sunglasses), it's a little bit more crowded. 

We headed back to the condo in the late afternoon and I am thoroughly exhausted.  Versailles is definitely a day trip, not just an afternoon or morning thing.  I stopped for pastries again on the way home-I have to get my fill while I can!!!  Tomorrow is our last day.  I'm not sure what the plan is-I still want to go back to the Louvre and also to L'Orangerie.  I definitely won't be doing much walking around, though-my feet feel like they're on fire.  One of the blisters goes up between my toes and that one is the worst.  Sad face.

Paris Day 5

Yesterday we spent the morning at the Musee D'Orsay.  It was pretty awesome-lots of Impressionist and Post-Impressionist paintings from Renoir, Monet, Manet, Toulouse-Lautrec, Van Gogh, Corbet, Caillebot, Degas, Cezanne, Seurat, Gaugin, etc.  The paintings were amazing, but the building, itself, was also really cool-it used to be a railway station.  After the museum we went out for lunch and I had duck.

We then went to the Rodin Museum and most of the statues were out in the garden, and it was really hot.  I have a vague recollection of BYU not allowing the statue, "The Kiss," to come to their art museum because it was of nudes.  Such a shame.  Afterward, we went over to Les Invalides, which has a military museum (from medieval times through the second World War), and also houses Napoleon's tomb.  The tomb is pretty big-there are actually four different tombs inside.  Not really sure why.  My sister in-law, Melissa, and I were pretty much done after the tomb, so we headed back to the condo and stopped along the way at a patisserie and got a bunch of delicious pastries.  It's strange to think that what we thought were amazing pastries are probably mediocre to Parisians.  My standards aren't very high, I don't think!  We had one tart that had strawberries on it and they were how strawberries should be-so flavorful.  A total difference from the huge ones you get at CostCo!

Paris Day 4

We went to the Louvre first thing this morning and needless to say, I was in heaven!  I felt like a 13 year-old at a Justin Bieber concert and got all teary-eyed when I saw several paintings I've loved for years.  We went to see the Mona Lisa first, but I've never been a huge fan, so that wasn't overly exciting other than for the fact that now I can say I've seen it.  It's just a little overrated in my opinion.  We're planning on going back a second time, but just in case something comes up and we don't make it, I wanted to make sure I saw all the really big stuff-Winged Victory, Venus de Milo, the Code of Hamurrabi, the Vermeers, Michelangelo's Dying Slave, and paintings by Rubens, Gericault, David, Murillo, da Vinci, etc.  There are far too many must see pieces of art in my mind!  There are still many things I want to see that we didn't have time for, so I'm definitely going back.  I didn't even make it into the Egyptian section at all!  We decided to only spend about three hours there so we didn't get museum fatigue, and that was about perfect.  I could have maybe done another hour, but then I definitely would have been worn out.

For lunch we went to a creperie and had a really nice meal.  Mark tried escargot which smelled delicious, but looked disgusting as he pulled it out of the shells.  He said it tasted like boogers.  I had a savory crepe with spinach, creme fraiche and an egg on top, and then a sweet crepe with just butter and sugar.  The savory crepes were made with buckwheat flour and I didn't like that as much as the regular sweet crepes.  They were still delicious though.  It was nice to finally have French food since we've been having Middle Eastern food for lunch everyday.  I enjoy kebabs, but we're in Paris, I want French food!

After lunch we went to a flea market that is supposed to be Europe's largest.  Initially it appeared like the market was really small and we thought maybe it was because it was Monday instead of the weekend, but then Mark went exploring and found that the area where we were wasn't really part of the flea market, it was just the outskirts.  Once we crossed the street, the place went on for what seemed like miles.  It was HUGE!  And also kinda dirty and ghetto.  There were lots of hookas and gangsta rap t-shirts for sale.  There were also many booths full of African stuff-jewelry, carvings, etc.  We stayed for probably an hour and a half and by then we were burning up (severe lack of shade there!) and tired, so we headed home.  I did find my original art there though, which oddly enough, I purchased from the same artist that my brother purchased his two pieces from the last time he was here.  It's just a small painting of an African village (the artist is from the Congo), but I love it.  I also found a cool Middle Eastern wall hanging and a new carry-on suitcase that has a map print on it. 

We were going to go to Versailles tomorrow, but most of the museums in Paris are closed on Tuesdays, so all of the tourists go to Versailles.  We're going to save Versailles for Wednesday and go to the Musee D'Orsay (HUGE collection of Impressionist art) and Les Invalides (where Napoleon is buried) tomorrow instead.  Yesterday, after the Pantheon we stopped by the steps where Owen Wilson sits in Midnight in Paris, and my older brother wants to go back there, so we'll probably go there as well. 

P.S.  Breakfast this morning was amazing-still warm baguettes, pain du chocolat, and a pastry with chocolate chips and a glaze on it, another with bacon, and yet another with Roquefort cheese.  Unbelievably delicious!!!

Paris Day 3

Yesterday was a busy day, filled with lots of cool stuff.  We started the day out by going to Sainte Chapelle, which was one of the things I most wanted to see.  The stained glass there was truly amazing.  They're restoring it all, section by section, so we didn't quite get the full effect, but it was still breathtaking.  Nearby Sainte Chapelle is the Conciergerie, which is a former royal palace and the prison where people, including Marie-Antoinette, were kept during the French Revolution.  They had a replica of her cell and examples of the other cells they had at the time.  They had bigger cells for all the riffraff, and then, if you had money, you could buy your way into a cell that had actual beds in it.  These were supposedly slightly cleaner and, according to the signage, were not as rife with promiscuity.  They had a couple of great slide presentations about the French Revolution and Marie-Antoinette's time at the Conciergerie.  I would like to read about her life-I know very little about it, other than she didn't actually say let them eat cake.  It sounds like she was definitely a character, but also a pawn in a political game that ended up with her being executed. 

Next we went to Notre Dame.  They happened to be doing Mass when we got there, so as we walked in you could hear the angelic singing and smell the incense.  The inside wasn't hugely impressive, but the outside was cool.  I loved the gargoyles and ended up buying two cheap, touristy replicas later in the day.  There is a small crypt outside of Notre Dame that we went to that was boring and hot.  It showed the remains of the original city center that's been excavated below the Notre Dame area.

We next had Lebanese food for lunch (delicious), then went to the Cluny museum.  It's a medieval museum and it contains the famous (possibly only to me???) Lady and the Unicorn tapestries.  I was like a kid in a candy store with those things.  They're pretty darn amazing!  The rest of the pieces in the museum were pretty cool too-they had several portrayals of Jesus being circumcised.  My dad spent an excessive amount of time taking pictures here, although I think you could probably say that about just about every place we've been to at this point!

The Pantheon was next.  It's a mausoleum that houses the remains of some of the most distinguished French citizens.  We saw the burial places of Rousseau, Voltaire, Braille, Madame Curie (and her husband), Alexandre Dumas and Victor Hugo.  The crypt, where they are located, was actually really cool this time around.  The Pantheon, itself, houses Foucault's pendulum (although this one is from 1995), and different monuments to things I can't remember because I got distracted by Mark's app that allows you to place cats in different pictures.

We had planned to go to the Musee D'Orsay at this point, but it was too late, so instead we went over to the famous bookstore, Shakespeare and Company, and then my mom and I did a little souvenir shopping back over by Notre Dame.  We then went back to the condo, to meet up with my brother and sister in-law, who had just arrived after a few days in London.

Today we're hitting the Louvre and Europe's largest flea market.

Paris Day 2

The day isn't over (it's around 7:30 or so here), but we've just come back to the condo and I think I'm in for the night.

We started the day off by going to Pere Lachaise, a famous French cemetery.  We saw the graves of Edith Piaf, Chopin, Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Steine, Marcel Proust, Auguste Comte (founder of Positivism, a religion based on science), Marechal Ney (one of Napoleon's generals), and of course, Jim Morrison.  Those of you who know my father can guess which two graves he insisted we see!!!  There was also a whole area with graves and monuments dedicated to people who resisted or were killed by the Nazis during WWII.  That was probably my favorite area.  Most, if not all, of the concentration camps had their own monument.  Several had statues on them that were amazing-skeletal looking people and such.  Pictures to follow.  It was really moving-I think of WWII being such a far away thing, so it was strange to think that part of it happened in France.

After the cemetery we went over to Sacre Couer, which is a basilica set on the highest hill in Paris.  It had a great view of all of Paris (it's even higher than the Eiffel Tower), but was fairly small inside.  Beautiful, though.  From there we walked over to the Moulin Rouge, which was disappointing.  I guess in my mind I had pictured it as being this big windmill set off on a hill kind of by itself and surrounded by artists.  There were no artists, but it was surrounded by sex shops and strip clubs.  Needless to say, I did not find the art I was looking to buy! We also passed by Le Musee de l'Erotisme.  We didn't go in, but there was a chair out front that had part of the seat cut out and attached was a wheel that had items sticking out that resembled tongues.  Use your imagination. 

Next we went to the Arc de Triomphe.  It was pretty impressive just to look at it, but you can also climb to the top.  There were 284 steps to get up there, all of which my legs keenly felt.  The view was well worth it, though-AMAZING!  After hiking back down we walked the entire length of the Champs de Elysee.  We stopped at Laduree, which supposedly has the best macaroons in Paris.  I also had to stop in at the Sephora there, which was huge!  It doesn't look that big from the outside, but when you walk in, I swear it goes back about a quarter of a mile.  Very impressive!  The Champs de Elysee ends up at the Place de la Concorde.  There we saw the obelisk that marks the spot where the guillotine stood during the French Revolution-Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette were executed there.  We didn't walk around much-by then we were all hurting and ready go head back to the condo.

It was a fun day and we saw lots of cool stuff, but I think my favorite part of the day was the WWII section at Pere Lachaise. Tomorrow we're going to Notre Dame, Sainte Chapelle, and a museum or two, and my brother and sister in-law arrive from London.  Fun, fun!

Paris Day 1

I don't keep a journal, so I'm documenting my trip here.  

Mark and I arrived in Paris yesterday morning safe and sound, but really tired.  Neither of us could really sleep on the plane, which sucked, but hey, we're in Paris, so there's no complaining allowed!  We got our metro pass and headed to the condo to drop our bags off, which they were nice enough to let us do even though the rooms weren't ready yet.  Then we went out to explore!  We walked around the neighborhood a little bit and, of course, stopped at a patisserie for some pain du chocolate (chocolate croissaints).  Then we took the metro over to the Eiffel Tower (at which point I finally felt like I was actually in Paris instead of any random European city) and walked around for a little while before taking our river cruise on the Seine.  By this time, however, we were both exhausted since we hadn't slept for over 24 hours.  Both of us were doing the bobble head thing and nodding off.  The cruise was actually quite nice, though-we saw Notre Dame and many other sites we will soon be exploring.  Afterwards we headed back to the condo to take a shower and a nap.  My parents finally arrived around 8pm (they had been in Scotland) and we visited for a while, then walked over to the neighborhood grocery store to grab stuff for dinner and breakfast.  We had a great meal of soup, bread and cheese, then madeleines and pudding stuff for dessert. 

The condo is nice-it's out of the city center, by Chateau de Vincennes.  It's three bedrooms, two bathrooms (split up weird-one full bathroom, one room that has just a toilet, and then in one of the bedrooms, a room with just a shower stall and a sink), a kitchen and living room/formal dining area.  We have a little balcony as well.

I'm sitting here eating breakfast as I type this-fresh baguettes from the local baker, and what I thought was yogurt, but is not.  It looked like yogurt and the label said Danon, but it turns out it's actually whipped cream with the kind of strawberry syrup you get at the bottom of fruit-on-the-bottom yogurts.  It was a delicious surprise!  We forgot to pick up butter last night, so my Dad has gone to the market (which is just across the street) to grab some for the bread, then we'll be off to sight-see for the day.  I think we are going to go to Montmartre for the morning to see the Moulin Rouge and Sacre Couer.  It's an artsy area, so I'm hoping to buy some art while there.  My brother and his wife got a couple of cool paintings when they were in Paris a couple of years ago, and I want to get something for my walls too.  

Later!

The countdown has begun!

I'm leaving for Paris bright and early Thursday morning and I'm officially beyond excited!  I've been more apprehensive than excited until the last week or so, mainly because I've never been somewhere where I don't speak the language, and let's face it, Parisians don't have a reputation for being nice to stupid American tourists.  My little brother and I get there early Friday morning and we have all day to explore the city before the rest of our group gets there Friday evening.  It will definitely be an adventure!  I think we're going to do a river cruise of the Seine while we're waiting for everyone else.  It will be a great way to see the city and relax a little bit after the long trip.  This will definitely be a nice break from the stress of the last couple of months and I can't wait to immerse myself in art, history and, of course, food!

a confession

I'm still spending most of my days at the hospital with my client and I have a little confession to make . . .  I can't stop stealing the alcohol prep swabs.  I love them!  I use them to clean my phone and other dirty surfaces.  My purse is now full of them and I feel like I should feel bad for stealing them, but I don't.  They probably cost a fraction of a penny each, so maybe I'll leave a quarter in the room tomorrow!  And really, if they don't want things stolen, they shouldn't leave them in unlocked drawers.  Leaving me alone and bored in a room with unlocked drawers full of fun medical supplies is just asking for trouble.  Does anyone want a couple of emesis bags or maybe a tongue depressor?  I can totally hook you up!

stuff

I'm going camping in Wyoming this weekend and I just found out it's going to be all couples . . . and me.  I'm sure it will be tons of fun and not depressing and lonely at all!!!

Here are some random pics from my phone because I can't come up with anything else to blog about:

A friend of mine taught me how to make homemade kimchi.  It has these disgusting looking baby shrimp in it.  Delicioso!

I bought this awesome cat plate at DI for 75 cents.  Money well spent!!!

 I did not buy this Jesus statue.  Look into his eyes!!

 The difference between driving around in Wyoming . . .

  . . . and Utah.

 

Homemade sushi from the friend who made the kimchi.  I admit the thought of homemade sushi was a little frightening, but it was actually really good.  

 

This is how much snow was on the ground when I left Wyoming in March.  I didn't miss it then, but I do miss it now.  It's been so stinkin' hot lately!

 

 The friends I'm living with for the moment have two dogs (the brown one and the black one whose face you can see), and a couple weeks ago they were dog-sitting their aunt's dogs.  For unknown reasons they all liked to congregate on my bed.  While I was in it.  It actually totally made my day.

The cousin of my client who has cancer sent me flowers.  How gorgeous are they!  And how sweet is she!  It's always nice to know you're appreciated. 

Stating the Obvious

Cancer sucks and life isn’t fair.  

No, I’m not just realizing this, I’m just REALLY realizing it.  One of my clients was recently diagnosed with cancer.  I’ve been spending my days taking her to doctors appointments, chemo and radiation and my nights worrying about how to give her the best care I possibly can.  This is a woman who was born with severe disabilities.  She was then molested and contracted HPV, which eventually led to anal cancer.  She doesn’t understand what’s going on, she just knows she doesn’t feel good.  She can’t verbalize if she’s in pain, all she can do is scream and hit her head.  She doesn’t understand that her hands are covered in socks and taped up to keep her from pulling out her IV.  She just knows that now she can’t feed herself, which was one of the few things she used to actually able to do for herself.  She doesn’t understand that she can’t have breakfast because she has to go under general anesthesia five days a week and you can’t eat beforehand; she just knows she’s hungry every morning and we won’t let her eat.  And worst of all, she doesn’t know what’s in store.  The doctors told us that this is one of the most treatable types of cancer, but the actual treatment is one of the worst.  Not only is she going to have bowel and bladder problems, but when she soils herself it’s going to be on top of skin that is raw from the radiation.  She will probably be nauseous all of the time, but at her current 87 pounds, she really can’t afford to lose any more weight.  And her food doesn’t even taste good right now because we have to put her ground up meds in it since she can’t swallow pills.  I’m guessing chemo drugs and chocolate pudding probably don’t make a good combination.  She can’t even go to day programming anymore because there are too many germs there.  Instead, she sits at home all day long, only leaving to go to the hospital. 

Fortunately everyone at Huntsman has been really great with us.  They understand that this is a more challenging case than normal and they have been very accommodating.  There has only been one person who hasn’t been absolutely wonderful, but I think this receptionist just wasn’t quite sure what to think about the woman in the middle of the lobby who was screaming out and pulling her pants down, trying to figure out how to make the pain go away.  Everyone else just loves her.  She gives everyone kisses on their hands and says “Very, very sweet,” which is one of the few things she can say.  Then she starts crying. 

so far so good

EHarmony has been going well thus far.  I like the site because unlike all of the other sites I've tried, you don't have to browse for matches.  It doesn't feel like a meat market like the other ones, where the hottest piece of meat gets all of the attention (and then devoured?).  Instead, eHarmony "scientifically" matches you with other people and then sends you their info.  I can't decide if it's high tech and super cool, or just made for lazy people.  At any rate, I'm talking to several guys who seem very cool and I've got a date with one of them on Monday.  There is a new exhibit opening at the U of U art museum and we're going to a dinner to celebrate the opening, then attending the exhibit.  It sounds like it will be lots of fun, or at the very least, a bloggable story.  Either way-victory!  I'll let you know how it all goes.  This is assuming, of course, that I don't back out at the last minute with a bogus story about a work emergency.  Not that something like that has ever happened because wouldn't that just make me a horrible person! 

I find it irritating when . . .

• I get really into a book only to find out it's part of a trilogy and the second book isn't even out yet.  
• People post excessive amounts of political stuff to Facebook.  Facebook was designed for you to 1.) post pictures of yourself looking like a duck doing a kissey face, 2.) post cryptically worded status updates so people will ask you what you mean and if you're ok, and 3.) post completely useless information about yourself that no one cares about.  What?  You had a dream about an ice cream cone?  Sweet, let me go ahead and "like" your status because it's so relevant and meaningful.
• You complain that I'm not giving you enough hours at work, but then you call out half of the time and when you are there, you spend your time on Facebook and Craigslist.  Browsing Craigslist for a hot @ss pounding does not equal working.  And yes, I check the browser history. 

the beast

Here's the car from the hubcap story.  Picture it in white.  We were stealth like ninjas.  Totally cool car, though.

I guess the plan of telling stories from days gone by did last about five minutes like I thought it would.  My roomie's coworker didn't like the idea.  She thought it wasn't relevant, and clearly she has become the boss of me.  I want her to think I'm cool. 

Possible dating disasters ahead

Amber (the friend I am currently living with) and her coworkers have decided that a.) I need to get married, b.) I need to show more skin and c.) I need to work on my come hither look.  So . . . I just signed up for eHarmony, I am going to have my skirts hemmed so they are slightly above the ankle and I am practicing my sexy times look.  So far I think it looks like I'm having a mini-seizure, but Amber's dog keeps resting his head on my chest, so I guess my animal magnetism is working.

I'm just so busy and important

I simply have no time for blogging these days due to my fabulously crazy lifestyle.  It's hard to be so important.  Or I'm just lazy.  Yeah, let's go with scenario number two.  You know I love me some bullet points, so here's what's been happenin', hot stuff:

• I did move back to Utah.  I've been back a little over two months now.  I had wanted to stay up there longer but I got irritated with my job one day, pulled a Risky Business and left.  
• I got a job with another organization that works with people who have disabilities.  This one is part of the school district though, so the benefits are great.  Somehow I have turned into an adult and started caring about retirement.  I don't know when this happened.
• I lived with my parents for a while but got sick of commuting between Orem and Salt Lake every day, so I moved in with some friends this week.  They live on the west side.  Oh, how the mighty (in my own mind) have fallen!  Yes, I have been known to be a bit of a snob in the past (and in the present) and make fun of the west side.  It's actually not bad at all, though, and I quite enjoy it.  
• Said friends have a child who occasionally gets upset and throws things when he has to turn off the Playstation or computer.  Then he has to do chores.  I find it very entertaining and have to work hard to keep the laughter inside.  He's just so sweet and dramatic.  I love it.
• I'm planning a camping trip in Wyoming next month.  I'm going to gather together my Utah and Wyoming friends and force them to like each other.  It's so stressful sometimes to be the center of so many people's social circles.*
• I've been trying to think of things to blog about and I have decided that I'm going to start sharing stories from my youth and childhood that I find amusing.  This new little blog feature will probably last for about five minutes and no one else will find these stories entertaining, but that's o.k.  Here's the first one . . .  Remember when you first got your driver's license and would drive by cute boy's houses and think you were so cool?  Well, my friends Emily and Betsy (sisters) and I would do this to the extreme.  We always drove their parent's car around and I have no idea what it was, but it was some big, huge white monstrosity.  We were very stealth, obviously, and I'm sure nobody noticed us driving down the street fifty times in a row.  Seriously . . . so smooth!  Anyway, this one guy lived kind of on a dead end, so we would have to drive past and then turn around and drive by again to get back out.  This particular time as we were driving past after just turning around, one of the hubcaps on this huge boat of a car fell off, jumped the curb and rolled onto his lawn.  We were mortified and we all ducked down because clearly no one would notice an unmanned car simultaneously falling apart and driving by.  I think one of them went back later and got the hubcap. 

*Just in case it wasn't crystal clear, I was totally joking when I said this.  

another one from the niece

I was cleaning out my inbox (clearly I have no life!) and came across the following email from my sister-in-law:

Today I gave the girls hard boiled eggs for breakfast. This conversation followed.

Sariah: can we kill some eggs?
Me: what?
S: I want some of those eggs that you kill
M: eggs that you kill?
S: yeah. I love killed eggs. Do you kill eggs?
M: Um. Not really.
S: yes you do. When you dip them in the colors and they are all beautiful.
M: Oh, you mean dyed eggs?
S: yeah. Dyed.

Decisions, decisions

I think I've pretty much decided to move back to Utah. It feels right. I was thinking about this summer, but now that the decision has been made, I'm antsy and want to go now. I don't think finding a job will be a problem (famous last words!), but I'm worried about finding somewhere to live. I have a dog that doesn't get along with my parent's dogs, so I can't really stay there until I find something else, but I might have to anyway. My mother will have a conniption fit. She is not my dog's biggest fan! Grrr . . . What to do? I actually do need to stay here for at least a few more months-moving in the middle of the winter in Wyoming is not something that is easily done. So maybe by spring/early summer I'll be in Utah again! Whoohoo!

For Meagan

My last roommate, Meagan, keeps bugging me about updating my blog, so here are some random pictures of our brief cohabitation from my phone:

This is the one bonfire we had in our backyard. We couldn't get it to start, so I whipped out some bacon grease to get it going. It actually worked fairly well. The picture taking did not:

My pasta salad that Meagan loves:


Her sweet dog, Vixen (and my dirty laundry):


There's a creek/crick/slough that runs through her parent's farm. The area where the cows live during the winter is right by the water, so when we saw something weird in the water later in the spring, we thought maybe a calf had fallen into the water and drowned as it was being born. Turns out it was just some paper.


A frightening number of cats live on the farm:


Meagan and her mom, who is one of the coolest ladies EVER:


Trying on hats at TJMaxx:


The puppy (named Veronica Mars) who Meagan convinced me to get. She only lasted a couple days before I gave her away. I am not a puppy person.

an update

Job's good. It's really cold. I'm super psyched for Christmas. Ugh. Alright, I guess I can do better than that. Hmmm . . . let's see . . .

• I'm liking being the boss (well, one of four bosses) at Christmas. I've been getting lots of treats. Of course it also means I have lots of staff to give something to. I decided to do cake balls because I pretty much like anything that has balls in the name. Instead of making them with frosting I used cream cheese. They are so much better this way.
• Netflix is taking up way too much of my time. I started watching The Vampire Diaries and I can't get enough of it. Stefan needs to go, though. I'm all about Damon. Stefan is far too whiney and depressing. He's like Edward Cullen without the glitter.
• I got a puppy over the summer and named her Veronica Mars. She lasted two days and then I gave her away. I couldn't handle the getting up every two hours during the night and the constant chewing of my furniture. It's probably a good thing I don't have children.
• Now I have Walker. He's a treeing walker coonhound. I got him from the local shelter where he had been for a year. He's super cute, but also super pesky sometimes. Today I came home from work to find my 25 pound bag of potatoes strewn all over the living room. He also really likes to chew on plastic food storage containers.
• Someone is doing the 12 Days of Christmas for me. There are few things in life that are better than coming home to a present every day. Yay for presents!!!
• I've been kinda seeing this guy, but I really don't like him very much. I don't not like him, but I don't like him, if you know what I mean. He always wants to talk on the phone. I'm not in junior high anymore-I don't need to talk on the phone for hours. I keep coming up with reasons not to talk to him or go out with him again and I need to just suck it up and tell him I'm not interested. It's hard to blow people off in a small town. The chances of seeing them around town are very high.
  
• I got a little obsessive about Christmas this year and got out my decorations the first week in November.
• I've been doing a weekly game night with some friends. Apples to Apples is a great way to get to know people. People have learned that I rarely go with the obvious answer. I'm all about creativity and humor. If you don't amuse me you won't win.
• It's really cold up here. It was like 2 degrees mid-day today. I always know it's really cold when I take the dog out and my nose hairs freeze and tickle me when I breathe. Since it's been so cold we haven't had much snow and now what snow we do have looks all weird like fish scales.
  
• One of my clients is constantly amazed to see me. I go say hi to her every day and every day she looks at me and says "Kim?!?" like she can't believe it's really me. Then she runs/toddles over and gives me a big hug. Then when I see her later in the day at her house, she is again amazed to see me. It's great.
  
• I'm going to attempt to keep track of the books I read next year again. I tried this year (see sidebar), but when I updated it with a bunch of new titles I forgot to save it. This of course irritated me and I gave up on it. I'll try again next year. Not that anyone ever looks at the list anyway-it's much more for my own information.

Alrighty, that's it for now. I would say I'll try to be more regular with my posting, but I'm guessing it probably won't happen. I will try to update after Christmas though. The nieces and nephew are coming, so hopefully I'll have some cuteness to share.

Yellow

An email I just received about a conversation between my nieces and sister in-law:

My conversation with the girls today...

Ashley: When are we going to see Kimmy again? I want to go to Wyoming.

Sariah: Kimmy lives in the yellow stuff.

Me: What? What is the yellow stuff?

S: You'll just see when you get there.

M: Ok, but what are you talking about?

S: It's just the yellow stuff. And she has a fountain that has really stinky water. And there are lots of trees and mountains. And Kimmy lives outside. She doesn't have a house.

M: Kimmy does not live outside. Do you mean Yellowstone?

S: Yeah. Yellowstone.

(She continued to refer to it as yellow stuff for the rest of the car ride.)

And now it's October!!!

My cousin lovingly and kindly brought to my attention that it's been a while since I updated. Wendy, your wish is my command. Here's what's been happening:

• I ended up applying for and getting the management job. I told them I would commit to two years. It's good so far-the hours are definitely better. Being on salary is also great. I have a feeling, though, that being the only single and childless member of management is going to mean a lot of travel for me. I went to Laramie last week and I have to go to Casper next week. I volunteered for the Laramie trip and was informed that I was going on the Casper trip. I can't be too bitter, though, since it's for Special Olympics and I love Special O.
  
• My roommate moved out, which really, really sucks, but it's good for her, so I guess I have to be happy. :(
• My parents are coming up to visit this weekend and since I now have a free second bedroom, they're staying with me instead of at a motel. I was going to go buy a cheap bed from the Penny Pincher, but my mom informed me that she didn't want to sleep on a used bed, so I bought a new bed yesterday. Fortunately my parents paid for most of it. I currently have a full size bed and the new one is a queen, so it's totally going in my room and the full is going in the spare bedroom. This whole thing means that I have a place for people to sleep when they come and stay! This means people need to come visit me!
  
• This has all made me feel very grown up. At 30 I finally have a career-type job, my own place without a roommate and actual furniture. Yay me!!!
• Last weekend was my roommate's last weekend in town, and because she requested it, I went with her and other friends to the bar. A guy asked me if I wanted to go next door (to the hotel) and have a good time. I politely declined. Maybe next time.
  
• Did I mention that you should come visit me? Seriously. No excuses.
  

It's September!!!

Holy crap, this summer flew by! I guess it doesn't help when the snow doesn't melt until May-summer seems really short. There was a change in the air when I left work last night. It's definitely starting to get cold, at least at night. Anyway, here's today's question of the day:

Q: If you had to move where would you like to live?
A: If money were no issue, I would love to live in New York City for a while. If we're being realistic, though, I would consider southern California. It's not too hot or too cold, there's tons to do there, it's pretty, and most importantly, my nieces and nephew are there. Unfortunately, the financial situation there is . . . um . . . lacking. I'm guessing that in my line of work, where a lot of our funding comes from the government, there probably aren't a lot of jobs in the state of California.

Question of the Day

There are several questions for today because my answers are short and sweet.

Q: What's the most significant problem facing the world?
A: Stupidity

Q: If you could do something dangerous just once with no risk, what would you do:
A: Swim with sharks

Q: Would you be likely to survive alone in the wilderness?
A: Hahahahahahaha!

morning visitor

Woke up to this little one in the backyard . . .

Pardon the cell phone camera quality! And that's wood for the fire pit, not a pile of crap. :)

Bonus Q

Q: What vice would you indulge in if it had no negative side effects?

A: Duh, all of them!

Question of the Day

Back by popular demand (from one person), I give you the Question of the Day . . .

Before I get to the actual question, I feel I should let you know that the first question I pulled out of the deck was "Which one sexual activity would you like to try if there were no negative consequences?" As a couple of my family members read this blog, I'm going to go ahead and skip that one. They just don't need to know about my predilection for whips and chains. So here's the actual question:

Q: Which long lost childhood object would you most like to find?

A: In 1986-87 my family lived in Spain while my dad was doing research in the archives there. (Let's pause for a moment to reflect on my glamorous life . . . ) We took a trip to Portugal and I of course brought along my beloved stuffed koala bear. This bear went everywhere with me and was the best friend a girl could ever have. Well, until I grew up and discovered other things to be my best friends, but I digress. We checked out of the hotel and a short time later I discovered that my koala was nowhere to be found. We went back to the hotel, but couldn't find it. It was devastating. My parents tried to tell me that koala wanted to stay behind to eat the eucalyptus leaves in Portugal. Ha! What did they take me for, a fool? Just because I was little didn't mean I was stupid. My sweet baby koala would never abandon me like that just for some stupid leaves. To this day I still think one of the maids stole it, because really, who wouldn't want a dirty, worn out stuffed koala bear? Last year my parents finally bought me a new stuffed koala, which now sits on my dresser as a constant reminder of the tragedy that nearly ruined childhood for me. So . . . to answer the question, I really want my koala back. I'm pretty sure that this devastating event led to questionable choices in my adult life, as well as a lifelong distrust of maids.

Emergency situation!

It's official-Wyoming has turned me. This will come as a shock to those of you who know me, but I spent the whole day yesterday fishing and . . . wait for it . . . I liked it. I am not the kind of person who likes dirt and bugs. In fact, it's hard for me to fathom that there are people who do; so when a friend of mind invited me to go fishing yesterday, my natural instinct was to say not just no, but f*ck no. Fortunately, my roommate was being a bump on a log and wouldn't get out of bed, so I decided to go fishing. Of course I only planned to stay for an hour or so-that way my nature allergy wouldn't cause too many problems. I also thought my friend and I were going to just sit around the campfire while her husband and kids fished. This was not the case, however. She made me go out on the water with her. Keep in mind that this is a glacial lake and thus the water is only slightly above freezing. At first I just sat there, but then there must have been a breach in the space time continuum or something, because I found myself doing crazy and bizarre things like putting a worm on the hook and grabbing little fishies to pull the hooks out of their mouths. I not only had dirt on me but also worm innards and fish slime. It gives me the shivers just to think about it now. We stayed out on the lake for a few hours, then went back to shore and I planned on leaving. Somehow I ended up going out again for another few hours. What has happened to me? With the recent plethora of natural disasters, I'm wondering if maybe there was an earthquake in the area I was not aware of and it shook things up in my brain. That's the only possible explanation. This is not normal behavior for me. Quick, somebody give me a UA-someone must have slipped me some drugs!!!



P.S. It's possible that I'm going camping and fishing again next weekend. What has happened to me?????

Attention, Utah peeps!

I'll be in Orem this weekend for my little bro's homecoming. Please stop by and say hello . . . I would love to see you!!!

Decisions, decisions

I'm supposed to be applying for a management position in the company I work for. It would be a great opportunity, but the past couple of months I haven't been able to shake the feeling that maybe it isn't what I should be doing. Today I put in my official letter of interest and now I have this overwhelming, horrible feeling that I'm making a huge mistake. So . . . do I follow my gut or not? I keep saying that whether or not I get this job will decide for me whether or not I stay in Wyoming, so I guess if I don't even apply for the job, that kind of makes that decision for me. Although really, it doesn't have to. Sigh. I don't know what I'm doing!!! Obviously not much has changed since my last post! I'm going to discuss it with the fam this weekend and see what they think, but I think I've already made up my mind. Anyone else want to chime in with their thoughts?

Sigh.

It's happening again. I'm feeling antsy. I need a change. I'm on vacation in California right now and getting some distance from Wyoming has made me realize that I don't really want to go back, but I don't know if I don't want to go back to the job or the state. I definitely want to go back for the people and the scenery. Maybe I just need to change my hair color or rearrange my bedroom. I don't know. I went through this a couple weeks ago and was trying to decide if I wanted to move back to Salt Lake or stay in Wyoming and I decided on Wyoming, but now I'm not sure. There was a job factor that was making all the difference, but now I don't know if I want to deal with the job factor. I don't know what I want. Sigh. I know, my life is super difficult-I live in a gorgeous place, I have awesome friends, and I am gainfully employed. What's a girl to do!?! Anyone have any suggestions? Please, solve my life's problems for me in the comment section!

thoughts

• I have so few Facebook friends that it would be sad to lose any, however, every time I log on I want to delete people based solely upon the number of times they update their status each day.
  
• I went to a class on autism this week and it's pretty fascinating. I plan on doing a lot more studying up about it. Now I have to go and teach all of the staff I work with about it.
• The place I work was having a yard sale as a fundraiser, so I went through all my stuff and got rid of quite a few things. Why does it look like I haven't even made a dent?
  
• Have you seen the new show, "Roseanne's Nuts"? I love me some Roseanne. She's crazy, but in a good way.
  
• What is everyone thinking about this season of So You Think You Can Dance? I haven't been feeling it so much this season. There are a couple of people I like, but I'm not really connecting with anyone. It's all just kinda meh to me.
• I heard last week that the first snow is predicted for six weeks from now (or rather, from last week). Upon hearing this news, I vomited a little in my mouth.
• One of my best friends always says "To be truthfully honest . . . " Is there any other kind of honesty?
  

Long time no see!

So I've been home sick all week and I thought that in between trips to the bathroom (TMI, I know!), I'd update my blog with what's been going on the last two or so months since I last posted. And just so you know, if this post does not illicit a sufficient number of comments, I'm never posting again!!! (Possibly kidding, but not sure at this moment, as I'm kind of finding myself over the whole blogging thing!)

• I moved into a new apartment. Same area, just slightly further out of town. This is my backyard:
• Speaking of the backyard, I came home the other day to find a herd of buffalo in the backyard:
• To go in my new place, I got a new couch:
• My new roommate has this cutie:
• Her name is Vixen and she likes to snug in bed with me:
• Down the road is the following sign and every time I see it, I swear it says Flying Whores:
• Also down the road is this cute goat:
• The weather here has been kinda crappy:
• In fact, it actually snowed the other day:
• I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately doing quite a few things I never thought I would ever do. You see, my roommate’s family has a farm and I love it there. Love everything about it. It’s possible that I’m turning into a farmer. This is the view from their porch:
• One of the things I definitely never thought I would be doing is branding a cow. No, not just watching the other people brand cows, I actually BRANDED A COW!!! I know, it’s like I’m a completely different person! Here’s a cow in the trapping mechanism. It’s not the one I branded, but it’s possibly related, and it's the only picture I took, so here you go:
• Speaking of cows, I had my first farm heartbreak with the little darling below. She wasn’t doing well and I did what I could to help, and I thought she was making a comeback and would be o.k., but then she died.
• And since we’re on the subject of cattle, let’s talk bulls. And their penises. I got to witness bull semen collecting! See that pink thing sticking down in the first pic? Yeah. What you can’t see in the second picture is that while the vet is down there with his little cup, his helper is sticking what looks like a black missile in the bull’s rear end. I felt like I was watching a prison rape scene or something.
• Remember a while ago when I blogged about having seen the eggs coming out of the chickens and I couldn’t eat eggs for weeks? Well, here are the culprits:
• Also on the farm are sheep and goats:
• This little cutie is Bonnie. She and her sister, Emma, are my favorites:
• And this little rascal here just had his um . . . (how do I say this delicately?) . . . well, he had his little goatie balls banded. Instead of just cutting them off, they put rubber band thingies on them and then they just fall off. I can only hope that some day soon I will be walking along and discover a couple of goat balls lying on the grass. So anyway, sadly, his humping days are no more.
• This is my partner in crime. Her name is Lacey and she’s the biggest sweetheart ever. I love her to pieces and force her to ride along with me on the back of the four wheeler. Some day I'm going to dognap her and never give her back.
• There are also geese on the farm. See that white one? His name is Frederick, but it should have been Little F*cker. No really, he comes at you and is like an attack dog! At one point I had to flee to my car with him sitting outside, flapping his wings at me, waiting to peck me to death. If ever I have a chance to run him over or accidentally stab him with a pitchfork, I will.
• I’ve been doing a little bit of traveling for work lately. I made a road trip out to Nebraska to pick up a new client and sadly, this is the only photo I took. Nebraska is gorgeous, by the way. The cow feedlot we passed along the way, however, made me want to vomit.
• I also went with my clients to Special Olympics in Laramie. Since everything involved clients, I obviously couldn’t take any pictures, but I had a great time. Remember that commercial from years ago that may actually have been for Special Olympics, wherein they’re running a race and one of the competitors fall and the rest of them stop, turn around and go back to help that person finish the race? Well, imagine three days of that. I was slightly emotional.
• So I think that’s about it for now. Sorry this was such a long post. As a reward for finishing, here’s another shot of the bull peen:

my heart just broke a little

I found out that one of the most bad*ss characters in one of the most bad*ss movies ever has just been cast on The Young and the Restless. My grandmother is now going to be enjoying this guy as much as I do, and that's really kind of weird.

This gave me chills

herpes

Remember this post? Well, the following search terms have lead people to my blog:

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I'm so proud to be the definitive source on information about Celtic Thunder and herpes! (Is it sad that the previous statement was in no way sarcastic?)