new must-have product

Perhaps I'm behind the times (as in a couple thousand years), or just too much of a snob to use something not from Sephora, but I have just discovered that you can use olive oil as a deep conditioner for your hair. Some cute little co-eds were talking about it in one of my classes today, so I rushed right home to try it out. Because only the best is good enough for my hair (and because it's all we had in the house), I used extra-virgin olive oil, or as Satan's Spawn calls it, EVOO. I'm sure you could use the cheaper kind if you wanted. You basically just slop some of it on your hair while it's dry (I used like 1/3 of a cup), then either put a shower cap on and sit under a dryer cap thingy (because we all have one of those at home, right?), or do what I did, and clip your hair up out of the way, and take a long, hot shower. The steam will help the oily, juiciness work its magic better. After you've let it sit on your hair for a while, you just shampoo it out. You have to shampoo a couple times, though, to get it all out. Also, this was kind of fun and it may have just been my imagination, but I swear to you the oil made my shampoo like fifty times foamier. So while you're shampooing, feel free to make shampoo mohawks and assorted fun shapes with the extra foam. Or not, if you prefer to act like an adult. Oh, and another sidenote, the oil will make the floor very slippy. Fortunately I was in a shower stall and you can only do the splits so far in a shower stall. I'm sure if I had been in an actual bathtub, bad things would have happened. So please, be careful! Obviously, after you shampoo, there is no need to condition as that's kinda the point of the oil. I am happy to report that my hair does appear to be much more shiny and healthy looking AND this was accomplished with stuff out of my parent's kitchen cupboard, so it was totally free (for me).

Possibly sacreligious afterthought: Ladies, I think we need to push for our own keychain oil vials, but for haircare instead of anointing purposes.