Note to self

• Do not tell any resident of Wyoming and/or Idaho that you thought an elk was a male deer. They will laugh at you. (In my defense, I don't come from an outdoorsy family. While all of y'all were out hunting and spending time in the great outdoors, I was going to museums and historical sites.)
• While it may be exciting to see the egg come out of the chicken's butt, it will make you never want to eat an egg ever again. Next time look away.
• It is never a good idea to kill time at Target. It is also impossible to just buy one or two things there.
  
• If a guy sticks his tongue in your mouth try really hard to not think of Ron puking up slimy slugs in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
• Asking about a person's tattoo is a great way to get a quiet person talking.
  
• Clothes can be washed-the love and snuggles of a muddy dog are priceless.
  
• Eat all the vegetables you want, there's still nothing better than a good steak.
• Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. Sometimes you have to make up a story about a co-worker falling and breaking her leg.