pardon my ranting . . .

I just saw the most offensive commercial ever. It's for Wonderful pistachios and shows Levi Johnston (Bristol Palin's baby daddy) with a bodyguard, eating a pistachio, and the tagline is "Now Levi Johnston does it with protection." I've written him a little letter.

Dear Levi,

Wow. You're such an ass.

It's nice that you are setting such a wonderful example for your child. I'm so glad that one day this kid will be able to look at this commercial and see his father making light of the fact that he got a girl pregnant and showing a complete lack of respect for the mother of his child. It will be nice for little Tripp to see that instead of spending time with him, you were living it up in Hollywood, filming commercials, going out with Kathy Griffin for press coverage, and oh yes, we can't forget posing for Playboy. Tripp will be so proud. Oh, I'm sure you're excusing your behavior by telling yourself that this money will pay for everything your child could need. Keep telling yourself that and while you're at it, keep pretending that whoring yourself out like this is a great substitute for quality time spent with your child. Because really, who needs a stable home environment and a loving father when someday, you can show all the kids on the playground your dad's nudie pics.

I can't wait until your 15 minutes are up and you slink back into the cave you crawled out of.

Sincerely (but not really),
Kim

And also,

Dear makers of Wonderful pistachios,

I will never ever ever buy your product, and I will take delight in preventing everyone I know from buying your product as well. Oh, and you should probably fire whoever authorized this ad because he (and yes, I'm assuming it's a he) is a douche and majorly failed at his job.

You suck.

Sincerely (but not really),
Kim