This is why I don't answer the door

I am waiting for a package, so I assumed that's what it was when the doorbell rang. 'Twasn't. It was a door to door salesperson and he wouldn't leave. Normally when they don't leave it's because they're trying to make the sale, but this guy didn't seem to care much about that. Instead, he was mesmerized by my dogs and then had to tell me all about his dogs and how they're trained to kill and they killed a neighbor's bulldog and he had to go to court. To say this guy was creepy is an understatement. So, the point of this post is that if I am found raped and/or murdered over the next few days, it was probably this guy. I kept the business flyer, and it is hidden in my dresser drawer (in case he tries to find it to get rid of the evidence). Please direct the police to the bright yellow flyer for carpet cleaning that is hidden amongst my undiewears. Oh, and I think creepy dude's name was Michael and he had a stringy ponytail, smelled of cigarettes, and was from Rose Park. Thanks!