Thursday, June 30, 2011

Long time no see!

So I've been home sick all week and I thought that in between trips to the bathroom (TMI, I know!), I'd update my blog with what's been going on the last two or so months since I last posted. And just so you know, if this post does not illicit a sufficient number of comments, I'm never posting again!!! (Possibly kidding, but not sure at this moment, as I'm kind of finding myself over the whole blogging thing!)
  • I moved into a new apartment. Same area, just slightly further out of town. This is my backyard:
  • Speaking of the backyard, I came home the other day to find a herd of buffalo in the backyard:
  • To go in my new place, I got a new couch:
  • My new roommate has this cutie:
  • Her name is Vixen and she likes to snug in bed with me:
  • Down the road is the following sign and every time I see it, I swear it says Flying Whores:
  • Also down the road is this cute goat:
  • The weather here has been kinda crappy:
  • In fact, it actually snowed the other day:
  • I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately doing quite a few things I never thought I would ever do. You see, my roommate’s family has a farm and I love it there. Love everything about it. It’s possible that I’m turning into a farmer. This is the view from their porch:
  • One of the things I definitely never thought I would be doing is branding a cow. No, not just watching the other people brand cows, I actually BRANDED A COW!!! I know, it’s like I’m a completely different person! Here’s a cow in the trapping mechanism. It’s not the one I branded, but it’s possibly related, and it's the only picture I took, so here you go:
  • Speaking of cows, I had my first farm heartbreak with the little darling below. She wasn’t doing well and I did what I could to help, and I thought she was making a comeback and would be o.k., but then she died.
  • And since we’re on the subject of cattle, let’s talk bulls. And their penises. I got to witness bull semen collecting! See that pink thing sticking down in the first pic? Yeah. What you can’t see in the second picture is that while the vet is down there with his little cup, his helper is sticking what looks like a black missile in the bull’s rear end. I felt like I was watching a prison rape scene or something.
  • Remember a while ago when I blogged about having seen the eggs coming out of the chickens and I couldn’t eat eggs for weeks? Well, here are the culprits:
  • Also on the farm are sheep and goats:
  • This little cutie is Bonnie. She and her sister, Emma, are my favorites:
  • And this little rascal here just had his um . . . (how do I say this delicately?) . . . well, he had his little goatie balls banded. Instead of just cutting them off, they put rubber band thingies on them and then they just fall off. I can only hope that some day soon I will be walking along and discover a couple of goat balls lying on the grass. So anyway, sadly, his humping days are no more.
  • This is my partner in crime. Her name is Lacey and she’s the biggest sweetheart ever. I love her to pieces and force her to ride along with me on the back of the four wheeler. Some day I'm going to dognap her and never give her back.
  • There are also geese on the farm. See that white one? His name is Frederick, but it should have been Little F*cker. No really, he comes at you and is like an attack dog! At one point I had to flee to my car with him sitting outside, flapping his wings at me, waiting to peck me to death. If ever I have a chance to run him over or accidentally stab him with a pitchfork, I will.
  • I’ve been doing a little bit of traveling for work lately. I made a road trip out to Nebraska to pick up a new client and sadly, this is the only photo I took. Nebraska is gorgeous, by the way. The cow feedlot we passed along the way, however, made me want to vomit.
  • I also went with my clients to Special Olympics in Laramie. Since everything involved clients, I obviously couldn’t take any pictures, but I had a great time. Remember that commercial from years ago that may actually have been for Special Olympics, wherein they’re running a race and one of the competitors fall and the rest of them stop, turn around and go back to help that person finish the race? Well, imagine three days of that. I was slightly emotional.
  • So I think that’s about it for now. Sorry this was such a long post. As a reward for finishing, here’s another shot of the bull peen:


Abby said...

Hi there - we used to comment on each others blogs a while back - not sure if you remember me. And we talked about gluten once. Anyhow, an update notice for your blog came through my Google reader and I know you said you wanted comments so here it is -- I totally get being over blogging. I kid of am too. But I do like your updates because you're funny and you live in a part of the country that I love. Farm stories are quite interesting though disturbing! Hope you find some goat balls in the field ;) and I hope you're feeling better soon!

Whitney said...

Kim, I've missed you

me said...

Glad you were back if only for one post.... Come visit!

Betsy said...

She's alive!!!!

Traci said...

Seriously! Nice to see you!

I had so many thoughts reading through this post. Please dont stop posting, your readers want more! ;) I will be up there in WY in a few weeks. We should def get together while I'm there. I mean how often is it that I'm in WY???

You've been busy!

Melissa Brown said...

Flying whores?! Can't. stop. laughing!

Anonymous said...

Kim, u kill me. Thanks for the read I was laughing non stop


Kim said...

Abby-of course I remember you! I actually just added the last cookbook you blogged about to my Amazon wishlist.

Whitney-How's married life? Bow chicka bow wow! :)

Wendy-You were in my dream last night. So were your parents. You were introducing me to a guy to go out with and then your dad yelled at me. I think I'm coming down weekend after next . . . hint, hint! In my dream, the guy had on a black cowboy hat and he had a goatee.

Betsy-Come visit me!!!!! Girls Night in Wyoming!!!

Traci-One of these days we will be in the same location at the same time, I swear!

Melissa-Can't wait to see you guys in three weeks! Do you think the people at that vegan restaurant will be able to know just from looking at my countenance that I have recently branded a cow?

Tattoo My Heart said...

Hi hi,
Just found your blog and your Flying Whores pic and comment made me laugh so hard I pee'd myself a little. No, I really did. :)

Hope you keep posting! :)