Friday, February 25, 2011

Please tell me it gets better.

I broke it off with dude tonight and to say he was pissed is the understatement of the year. I didn't even like the guy and the insults he was hurling my way were completely ridiculous, but it still kinda sucks. I'm tired of being alone, but I also refuse to lower my standards, so I'm kind of at a stalemate here. I'm also pissed off that I feel like something is wrong with me since I'm a couple months away from being 30 and I'm still single. This is not abnormal! The religion I was brought up in has brainwashed me to think (among other things) that there's something wrong with this scenario, but there really isn't! (Yes, I did just state my opinion on the Mormon church in a vague and roundabout way. Sorry if that offends you.) So please . . . tell me it gets better. Tell me that not all guys are jerks and that I will eventually find someone, even though I live in an area where there are more cows than available men. Also, if you could please tell me that I am the better person for not having the last word with this guy, that would really help.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I'm just not that into you.

I would like to apologize in advance-this post is probably going to make me sound like a horrible human being. I have accepted this about myself and, in fact, have come to embrace it. So here goes . . .

Signs that I'm just not that into you:
  • I lose my phone or forget it at home a lot. (Yeah right, that thing is practically glued to my thumbs!)
  • I answer your texts with carefully worded responses that do not require a further response on your part.
  • I use lots of noncommittal phrases such as "We'll see." and "That's a possibility." My favorite is "We shall see . . . we shall see."
  • You initiate most of our conversations.
  • Everything I say is very general and in no way specific to you.
  • When you try to hold my hand, I give your hand a little squeeze, then have to dig around in my pockets for something or I suddenly need a sip of my drink.
Reasons why I'm just not that into you:
  • You text me stupid questions like "Have ya been thinking about me today?" Um . . . do you really want me to answer that?
  • Even after I text you carefully worded responses that do not require any further response on your part, you still keep texting me.
  • You are unable to spell basic words. Now and how are not spelled with an a.
  • Your favorite tv show is Two and a Half Men.
  • You keep offering to buy me things, and that kind of makes me feel like a prostitute.
  • Even though you claim you have no problem with gay people, you don't really want any of them around you. Unless, of course, you have been forewarned that there might be homosexuals in the vicinity. Then you're good. It's just when they pop up out of nowhere that it's an issue.
  • I'm happy for you that you go to the gym almost every night, but I don't really need to hear your gym experience described as including sweat, muscles and panting. That doesn't sound sexy, it sounds gross. And then when you add in throbbing muscles, it just makes me laugh at your attempt at sexy talk.
Reasons why I'm momentarily overlooking all of the previous items:
  • I really, really like it when you play with my hair for an hour and a half straight, even though your wrist is quite obviously hurting.
  • I live in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming; there really isn't much else to do.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

update on my downfall

It was brought to my attention that my last post sounded kind of b*tchy. There was actually more to the story that was causing me concern than just that he sent me flowers on Valentine's Day, but tonight I realized that perhaps I'm projecting lingering issues from a past relationship onto this guy, and that's probably not fair. We cleared up some confusion over certain issues and we'll see where things go from here.

Monday, February 14, 2011

my downfall

So I got flowers for Valentine's Day today from this guy who seems to be very nice and at least semi-normal. You would think this would be a good thing, right? It's not. I already felt like this guy was clingy, and now I just plain feel smothered. I think my independent nature is going to be the downfall of my love life. I just really don't feel the need to account for what I'm doing all the time. It's not even in a demanding way, just a hey, whatcha up to kind of a way. And I don't need a good morning text every day. And I don't want to talk about hypothetical future plans with someone I barely know. And I don't need to be repeatedly called gorgeous (or, in his spelling-disabled way, geirgous). And I really don't want to snuggle. I am not a snuggly person. It takes a lot for me to even hug someone and when I do, it's usually a one armed, pat on the back kind of a hug. I've just realized that I'm the guy in this situation, and dude is the stage 5 clinger! Hahahaha!!! O.k., now that's kind of funny! I think I'm going to die alone.