Wednesday, May 30, 2012

I find it irritating when . . .

  • I get really into a book only to find out it's part of a trilogy and the second book isn't even out yet.  
  • People post excessive amounts of political stuff to Facebook.  Facebook was designed for you to 1.) post pictures of yourself looking like a duck doing a kissey face, 2.) post cryptically worded status updates so people will ask you what you mean and if you're ok, and 3.) post completely useless information about yourself that no one cares about.  What?  You had a dream about an ice cream cone?  Sweet, let me go ahead and "like" your status because it's so relevant and meaningful.
  • You complain that I'm not giving you enough hours at work, but then you call out half of the time and when you are there, you spend your time on Facebook and Craigslist.  Browsing Craigslist for a hot @ss pounding does not equal working.  And yes, I check the browser history. 

the beast

Here's the car from the hubcap story.  Picture it in white.  We were stealth like ninjas.  Totally cool car, though.

I guess the plan of telling stories from days gone by did last about five minutes like I thought it would.  My roomie's coworker didn't like the idea.  She thought it wasn't relevant, and clearly she has become the boss of me.  I want her to think I'm cool. 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Possible dating disasters ahead

Amber (the friend I am currently living with) and her coworkers have decided that a.) I need to get married, b.) I need to show more skin and c.) I need to work on my come hither look.  So . . . I just signed up for eHarmony, I am going to have my skirts hemmed so they are slightly above the ankle and I am practicing my sexy times look.  So far I think it looks like I'm having a mini-seizure, but Amber's dog keeps resting his head on my chest, so I guess my animal magnetism is working.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm just so busy and important

I simply have no time for blogging these days due to my fabulously crazy lifestyle.  It's hard to be so important.  Or I'm just lazy.  Yeah, let's go with scenario number two.  You know I love me some bullet points, so here's what's been happenin', hot stuff:
  • I did move back to Utah.  I've been back a little over two months now.  I had wanted to stay up there longer but I got irritated with my job one day, pulled a Risky Business and left.  
  • I got a job with another organization that works with people who have disabilities.  This one is part of the school district though, so the benefits are great.  Somehow I have turned into an adult and started caring about retirement.  I don't know when this happened.
  • I lived with my parents for a while but got sick of commuting between Orem and Salt Lake every day, so I moved in with some friends this week.  They live on the west side.  Oh, how the mighty (in my own mind) have fallen!  Yes, I have been known to be a bit of a snob in the past (and in the present) and make fun of the west side.  It's actually not bad at all, though, and I quite enjoy it.  
  • Said friends have a child who occasionally gets upset and throws things when he has to turn off the Playstation or computer.  Then he has to do chores.  I find it very entertaining and have to work hard to keep the laughter inside.  He's just so sweet and dramatic.  I love it.
  • I'm planning a camping trip in Wyoming next month.  I'm going to gather together my Utah and Wyoming friends and force them to like each other.  It's so stressful sometimes to be the center of so many people's social circles.*
  • I've been trying to think of things to blog about and I have decided that I'm going to start sharing stories from my youth and childhood that I find amusing.  This new little blog feature will probably last for about five minutes and no one else will find these stories entertaining, but that's o.k.  Here's the first one . . .  Remember when you first got your driver's license and would drive by cute boy's houses and think you were so cool?  Well, my friends Emily and Betsy (sisters) and I would do this to the extreme.  We always drove their parent's car around and I have no idea what it was, but it was some big, huge white monstrosity.  We were very stealth, obviously, and I'm sure nobody noticed us driving down the street fifty times in a row.  Seriously . . . so smooth!  Anyway, this one guy lived kind of on a dead end, so we would have to drive past and then turn around and drive by again to get back out.  This particular time as we were driving past after just turning around, one of the hubcaps on this huge boat of a car fell off, jumped the curb and rolled onto his lawn.  We were mortified and we all ducked down because clearly no one would notice an unmanned car simultaneously falling apart and driving by.  I think one of them went back later and got the hubcap. 

*Just in case it wasn't crystal clear, I was totally joking when I said this.