Wednesday, December 22, 2010

double standard

I was listening to the song "Callin' Baton Rouge" by Garth Brooks the other day and for some random reason it struck me how if it were a girl singing the song, the message would be completely different. One of the lyrics is "stoppin' every hundred miles callin' Baton Rouge." Now when a guy does that, it's just as sweet and tender as can be because he's just oh, so in love with this girl. If a girl were to do that, though, it would mean she's a stalker. And then there's the line "And it won't be long until I'm with you all the time, But until then I'll spend my money up right down to my last dime callin' Baton Rouge." Telling someone that it won't be long until you're with them all the time is a little creepy to me. I feel like it should be followed by "because I'm a psycho who's going to break your ankles like Kathy Bates in Misery so that you can't escape me." And if you're just about out of money, then you should probably go ahead and stop calling me.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


I am once again failing at being a blogger. It's just that life is so darn busy, what with my grueling schedule of tv watching and online shopping. I've also started but not finished about 10 books. Oh wait no, that's a lie. I did finish one of them. Matched by Ally Condie. (Whose child I happened to teach in Primary. He was not one of the demon children, fortunately, or I would be forced to hate her book on principle.) So anyway, here's yet another bullet point themed blog post for your reading enjoyment:
  • Pretty in Pink is on right now and I just had a WTF moment. I've always bitched about how Blane (That's a major appliance, that's not a name!) said "You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. You just didn't believe in me" Well, apparently (according to the Bible of IMDb), he actually says "Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me." I guess that really would make more sense, but whatever.
  • It's snowed like a foot here in the last 24 hours. When I checked the weather forecast on Friday, I swear it said an inch. I take consolation in the fact that we're almost through with two months of winter. Only five more to go!
  • Lorri and I just watched the Oprah from a couple weeks ago where she goes back to a town in West Virginia where she did a show in 1987. The show was about a gay man who had AIDS and how he was treated by the town. It was really uncomfortable to watch how hateful those people were. I realize that back then we didn't know as much about the disease and how it was spread as we do now, but a lot of the hurtful comments were about the fact that the guy was gay. It always drives me crazy when people cite the Bible as a reason for being anti-gay. If we're going to go by what the Bible says, we should probably start stoning people again. Oh, and according to Mark, if you get divorced and then marry someone else, you've committed adultery. I wonder how many of those people were (and still are) on their first marriage.
  • Remember a little while ago how I made a client cry twice because I made her do her laundry? Well, I managed to make her cry again. This time it was because she lied to me about eating Christmas candy. That makes me sound horrible. I didn't get mad at her or anything, she just felt really guilty and didn't want me to tell her mom. So really, in both incidents, I didn't make her cry, the consequences of her behavior made her cry. Somehow that still makes me sound horrible, doesn't it!
  • Does anyone watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? (I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I do.) The last episode was cray cray!!! That psychic lady (I'm afraid to even say her name-she might put a hex on me or something) is truly insane. I won't ever be able to see a cigarette again without thinking of her creepily puffing away on her fake cigarette. I'm getting the heebie jeebies just thinking about her.
  • I'm not usually a huge Kenny Chesney fan, but I can't get enough of this song:

  • I'm also enjoying "Long Time Coming" by Delays. If you actually watch this video, can we please talk about how creepy twin children can be? For other examples, please see The Shining and, let's be honest, pretty much any Olsen twins movie.

  • O.k., just one more song! Since I invited myself on my parent's trip to Ireland next summer, I've been watching Irish-themed movies (great excuse to watch The Boondock Saints again!!!) and one of my favorites is The MatchMaker. This song is in it and I can't stop listening to it. It's "Haunted" by Sinead O'Connor and Shane MacGowan (original lead singer of The Pogues).

Thursday, December 9, 2010

a momentous event

I was described today as being perky. Did you ever think that word would be used to describe me? I told my mom and she was a bit skeptical. She just needs to not let the first 27 years of my life bias her opinion.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I've been reminiscing . . .

My favorite picture of all time. My mom and the grandkiddos.

Neti pot!!!

One of too many nights of insanity at Ryan's.

Yard sale at Amber and Tyler's. Don't know whose van that was, or why we were documenting our (their) butts for posterity.

After we went tubing under the road. Our version of tubing included a giant piece of cardboard instead of an actual tube. And mud. And not bothering to actually put on swim suits.

Me and little Melissa. I'm not sure why she doesn't have a shirt on.

My birthday 2005, after a little cake fight.

Trying to force niece number one to take a "nice" picture with Aunt Kimmie. President's Day Weekend 2007.


worst blogger ever

I don't know what's happened; I used to be so great at blogging! Sigh. I need some inspiration. Oh well, here are some nuggets:
  • A client told me yesterday that she was going to send me to the Obama White House and have me taped to the Christmas tree there. I'm not entirely sure what she meant by that, but I don't think it was good.
  • I made the same client cry twice later in the evening because I made her do her laundry. I should feel bad about this, but I don't.
  • I have now gotten all of my coworkers but one hooked on Veronica Mars. I've also begun indoctrinating the clients as well. It's a sickness.
  • I just bought a Berkshire Fluffie blanket and it's awesome. This is possibly too much information (not that that's ever stopped me before!), but I just want to wrap up in it naked because it feels that amazing. You need to get one.
  • My new obsession is buying used movies off of Amazon. I can usually get them for about 4 bucks and since that's about how much it would cost to rent them at Blockbuster, I'm buying stuff I have and haven't seen. None of them fit in my PO box though, so the post office lady has to do her job and hand them off to me. I think she's getting irritated.
  • Zack and Miri Make a Porno is on. I love Justin Long in this movie.
That's all I've got for now. Oh, and Cary, I know this will make your day-I've finally found my set of Table Topics, so start looking forward to more Q&A's!