weekly stressfulness update

I spent the weekend in Idaho again and I feel like I was at least semi-productive, so that's a start.  We did get all registered at Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  While there aren't a ton of things on our lists, we did find more than I thought.  We also got some more painting done, but not quite as much as I would have liked.  The house is really slow going.  I have realized that just because Tyler is capable of doing certain handymanish things, it doesn't mean he will have time to do them.  Normally work slows down for him around this time of year, before harvest begins, but this year has been crazy.  Pivots have been breaking down left and right.  On Saturday he was only supposed to have checked the water in the morning and again in the evening, but the pivots kept breaking down, so he ended up working pretty much all day.  For those of you who don't know what a pivot is (which included me up until very recently), they are the sprinklers that you see out in the fields.  Not the pipes that lay on the ground, but the ones that are suspended in the air.  They're called pivots because a motor slowly moves them around in a giant circle.  When Tyler has to go check pivots it means that he has to go watch to see if they're still moving.  They tend to get stuck in the dirt and he has to dig them out, or else they stop working and he has to try to figure out what the problem is.  He's gotten to be really good with wiring and electrical stuff.

Tyler's mom ended up getting a seasonal job that starts next week, so I am now going to be going up there to be with the kids after my last day of work on July 3.  Eek!  I'll have them all on my own, which could be really good or a really big disaster.  I'm going to stay up there for about a week, then come back down here for a couple of bridal showers and to move my stuff up there.  Fortunately my family is back in town for a little bit so we're frantically trying to get things done.  Hopefully invitations will be done by tomorrow and sent out this weekend, my wedding dress (that we are hoping and praying I like and fits since I ordered it online) will arrive next Tuesday and we're going to get clothes for the kids purchased this weekend.  Plus other assorted odds and ends.  At this point I have made peace with the fact that everything might not get done.  As long as the major things like a dress, invitations, etc., are taken care of, then I'm not going to worry about the rest.  Or so I'm telling myself!

While I was up there this weekend I had one child say I'm the best mom ever, another say I'm going to be the best mom she's ever had (which is both sweet and sad at the same time) and then I also made two kids cry when I punished them for hitting and pushing each other.  They were supposed to be cleaning up their bedroom, but then one of them hit the other so she shoved him back.  They both ended up in time out and had to clean up different rooms by themselves since they clearly couldn't work together.  I happened to be the only one home with them and I was trying to make dinner at the time, so I'm proud of myself for not losing my cool and handling the situation in an appropriate fashion.  Give me a few more months and I'm sure I'll blow up, but at least for now I'm doing alright with the discipline.  When Tyler got home he asked me if I gave them a swat on the butt.  My thought on that is how am I supposed to tell a child not to hit as I'm hitting them?  He does a half-hearted swat that he calls a spanking but it's kind of more to emphasize his point I guess, since they don't seem to phase the kids at all.  If that was the kind of spanking I had gotten when I was little, I would have just done whatever I wanted and taken the spanking!  I prefer to make the kids work or take away privileges, which seems to make them far more miserable. 

Oh and btw, no other McDonald's trays appeared on the deck.  I was slightly disappointed.  I also never solved the mystery of where they came from. 

Registering and stuff

Tyler and I need to register for wedding gifts this weekend, but I feel weird about it.  Somehow it seems tacky, like we're saying you need to buy us a gift and this is what you're allowed to buy.  I guess it's not much different than Christmas lists, though.  And I get that it's helpful because people want to get you something that you'll actually use and they obviously have no idea what you have and don't have, but you're both assuming and expecting that people are going to buy you things.  Not that such a thing would be completely out of left field, given the situation!  I would probably be way more into it if we were a younger couple and just setting up a household, but I've been living on my own for years and he's been married before.  We have two already set up households.  Well, one and a half, I guess, considering most of his things are now either at the dump, being given to the ex or after all this time, need to be replaced.  And technically, while I do have an already established household, it is established for a small grouping of people, not 8 people.

Plus, and this is going to sound really selfish, I have nice things and I have carefully chosen these things over the years and spent lots of money on them and I know that they aren't going to last long with six kids around, so I really just want to not unpack them and hide them away until the kids are grown.  My decor, housewares, etc., have never needed to be kid-proof or kid-friendly, so pretty much they aren't.  I'm having visions of the heads of the dolls my grandpa bought in the 50's and 60's while stationed overseas being ripped off like Barbie heads.  What if one day I stumble across a cemetery of doll parts from around the world in the back yard?  Oh look, there's a head from Okinawa!  And there's half of the body of the doll from Peru!  And the legs of the flamenco dancer from Spain are just barely sticking out of the ground!  Ok, that may be a little bit dramatic (and slightly creepy), especially considering that all of those things have been packed up and in my parent's shed for the last 15 years, but you see what I mean!  Is my "Original Art Work Collection"* going to end up being drawn all over with crayons?  Is it silly that I'm even worried about it?  I think maybe this is just the way the fear of my impending complete 180 degree change in lifestyle is expressing itself.  But seriously . . . if my complete collection of 1937 Harvard Classics or my signed Amy Tans are destroyed, we're going to have some problems.  I feel like Mel Gibson in Braveheart . . . They may take my sanity, but they'll never take . . . MY BOOK COLLECTION!




*That is now its' official title.

The plot thickens . . .

One of the dogs was playing with yet another McDonald's tray tonight, so that explains the hole in the tray (both trays, actually), but where the heck are the trays coming from???  Here are the options I have come up with:

• My brother, Mark, is infamous for finding and bringing home random things like a tetherball pole with a cement stand but no ball, and a broken down sled-type thing that he tried to hook the dogs to and make them pull it.  He's been in China since February, though.  
• Someone knows I'm dieting* and is taunting me with thoughts of french fries.
• The Hamburglar is real and really is stalking me.

The night before the first tray appeared on the deck, there was a strange and mysterious noise outside that set the dogs to barking.  I was too lazy to get out of bed and check, plus I figured if it was someone trying to break in to kill me, that would just mean that I wouldn't have to worry about planning the wedding.  So that's where things stand.  We'll see if any other trays appear. 

Also, a quick update on the herpes in my eye:  it's still here, plus my lymph nodes are so swollen that you can see them sticking out of my neck.  The cold sore is getting a tiny bit better-I started putting some doTerra oils on it just in case stuff like that works.  My throat is still killing me, plus I have a rash on my belly and a strange and itchy bug bite on my cheek.  Basically my body is mutinying.

*I'm down to what I weighed when I was in high school, which is totally awesome, but I was fat in high school, so it's not quite as awesome as it could be.  Still working on it, though!

a mystery

When I let the dogs out this morning I discovered this sitting by the back door:

Keep in mind that the back door opens up onto a deck, so it's not like it could have just blown into the fenced in backyard and landed by the door.  And why would someone steal a tray from McDonald's?  And why the hole?  I think I'm being stalked by the Hamburglar. 

In other, unrelated news, I have pink eye.  I also have a gigantic, nasty cold sore, which is probably where the pink eye came from.  So basically, I have eye herpes.  At least it's getting me out of work for a couple of days.

I'm feeling less stressed about the wedding planning and the house.  I've decided that I'm going to eliminate a lot of stuff from the reception for the time being.  If, after I quit my job, I have time to do these things, great.  If not, oh well.  The world will keep turning whether or not I have a wedding cake.

freaking out a little

There may not be a wedding happening anymore because unless something gives, I'm going to a.) lose my mind and be institutionalized, b.) physically assault the next person who irritates me and be in jail or c.) both.  I found out last night that up until the weekend before the wedding, my parents are going to be in town for a grand total of like a week and a half.  This means that I will have to do all of the following pretty much on my own:

• Find a wedding dress, shoes, etc.  Find someone to do alterations.
• Find someone to make the wedding cake and pick something out.  
• Pick out and order invitations.
• Address and send out said invitations.
• Find matching fancy outfits for all of the kids.
• Follow up on everything for the reception.  (Flowers, candy buffet, cake decorations, etc.)
• Figure out what the heck we're doing for the ceremony.
• Pack up my entire apartment.  Also, I probably need some boxes for packing. I could be doing the packing little by little every day, but I'm house and dog sitting for my parents instead.

 Then there's registering and getting a marriage license (which has to be done in Utah) with Tyler, who works 7 days a week.  Plus I have to actually move up there (my parents will be gone for that too) and hope that I have a house that is livable.  I have been assured that the house will be done by then, but unfortunately I live in reality and not the land of make-believe.  I also have to train my replacement and finish up with work.  Oh, and then there's planning the whole open house in Idaho, which doesn't even have a date yet.

So yeah, I'm a little irritable right now.  And I realize that I can have friends help me with some of these things, but stuff like picking out a wedding dress and cake and announcements and ceremony/reception plans would be nice to do with my mother.

This is why I wanted to elope and not worry about any of this.  I want to be happy to get married, but I don't see that happening any time soon.

Another fun weekend

I spent the weekend in Idaho again, but this time I took my parents along for the ride.  The meeting of the two families went really well, thankfully.  We spent Saturday morning taking engagement and family pictures and we got some really great photos.  I went and got coordinating outfits for everyone and I think it all came together really well.  When my dad finishes photoshopping them, I'll post some for everyone to see.  The rest of Saturday was spent getting to know each other and then we had a bbq in the fire pit in the back yard.  My mom was thrilled to do s'mores.  Apparently it's been years since she's gotten to roast marshmallows over the fire and she was in heaven.  It really is the little things, isn't it! 

Sunday was spent working at the house.  Things had not progressed as much (or at all, actually) as I wanted them to since last weekend, which sucked, but we did get quite a bit done.  Tyler borrowed the backhoe from work and finished digging the trench for the new waterline to the well.  The previous pipe had broken and it was all old, so he decided to just replace all of the pipe.  The water pressure also wasn't that great, so we're getting some kind of pressure tank that will help with that.  After a few bumps along the way, we got all the pipe laid down and the connections made.  We're lucky in that Tyler gets all of the materials to do this for free from his work.  The new pipe ended up not fitting through the hole into the house, which could have been a big issue, but we just ran down to the workshop and he cut off a piece of thinner pipe, then used their equipment to make the threads on the end.  That was kinda cool to see.  I mean who ever thinks about what it takes to make the threads on a pipe?  I certainly never did!  They also had all of the connecting pieces we needed.  I have a feeling this is going to be really handy as time goes on!

While Tyler finished up the piping, his mom and the kids and I worked inside the house.  We got the walls scrubbed down in two of the bedrooms and the hallway, so they're ready to be painted.  I also had to step into the disciplinarian role, which was interesting.  Ethan, who is 7, kept playing around and not helping out, so instead of getting to work with everyone else, I made him go outside and pick up pinecones.  He pouted the whole time, but next time hopefully he'll do what is asked of him instead of messing around.  In order for this family to work, everyone is going to have to help out and if they don't want to do the chore they're given, I'll be more than happy to find a different one for them to do!  I had to get on Lily (age 9) about helping out too.  It's interesting to see how I'm going to have to deal with each child differently.  Kylee (age 5) does really well when you praise her and I think that'll be the best motivator for her.  That's not going to work with Lily.  I don't think making her do extra chores will necessarily work either.  That's what they've been doing, by making her clean out horse stalls when she has a bad attitude.  I think losing privileges might be what will work for her.  We'll see as time goes on. 

I did a lot of bonding with the kids this weekend.  No one has ever sat down and read with them regularly, so I spent lots of time reading to them.  Even the babies (Trysta-1 year and Ava-2 years) were fighting to sit on my lap and look at the pictures.  My mom brought up little presents for everyone, including some books and Morgan (8 years old) sat and read a book to my mom.  There were lots of hard, foreign words in the story and she did surprisingly well.  She's an excellent little reader!  Even my mom, who actually teaches reading, was impressed.  Lily seems to need lots of physical affection right now, so I made sure to give her lots of hugs.  When we were saying goodbye, she gave me a huge hug and started crying.  She didn't want me to go and said she was going to miss me.  Holy cow, way to pull at my heart strings!  Despite having their grandma and aunt around, what these kids really need is a mom.  Taking them over to the house so they could see that it's being cleaned up and made into a home again has made them excited and they all keep saying they can't wait until the wedding.  Kylee did whisper in my ear, though, that Tyler and I aren't allowed to kiss until we get married! 

My ring was done being sized this week, so now I finally get to wear it:

Sadly I only took one picture this weekend . . . Trysta really liked her Jello salad!