Tuesday, January 18, 2011

the big date

So remember how I was complaining because I had a possible date for last Saturday, but I ended up having to work? Well, I found someone else to work, so the date was on. Things didn't really go as I had imagined they would. It turned out to not so much be an actual date as it was this dude was just dropping by to meet me and if I proved to be acceptable, maybe in the future there would be a real date. That was problem number one. Problem number two was that he showed up in coveralls and mud boots and he looked like Grizzly Adams. Problem number three was that we had only slightly more in common than Hitler and Gandhi do. For example, he doesn't watch t.v. Crazy, right?!? I mean really! Really!! We actually ended up talking for about three hours, during which time I learned the following:
  • Goats have a really thick skull in front, so when you kill them you have to shoot this one spot on the side where the skull isn't. If you just shoot them straight through the forehead, it'll only stun them and they'll keep popping back up.
  • When you are hunting, the meat will taste less "gamey" if you don't run the animal. If you just sneak up on it and shoot it, it won't release hormones and sweat and stuff, which changes the taste.
  • You can get some kind of chip or something to make your car have more horsepower. This is a good thing because the more horsepower you have, the more of a man you are.
  • UFOs fly around Area 51 all the time and Big Foot is real.
I'm sure I learned more, but I'm still processing the whole experience, so I'll have to report back on it later. Oh, and one other thing . . . if you use the phrase "I'm not racist, but . . ." multiple times when referring to different ethnic groups, you might just be racist.


Wendy said...

I could have told you #'s 2,3 & 4!

Traci said...

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while. I'd say keep him. But only if in addition to all you described...he fills you in on his excremental frequency, color, size, smell, and solidity. Then you know you have a true keeper.

Chocolates for Breakfast said...

i needed a laugh today...thanks! i wish you had a picture to go with, but the visual in my mind of what he looked like and what your face must have looked like when you opened the door is way better probably! you never know when this info might just come in handy!?

Andrea said...

Wow! So much mocking potential in this whole thing... I don't even know what to say... Wow

Betsy said...

When's the wedding? He sounds dreamy :)

Whitney said...

Love this guy.