gimpy ovaries update

I went to the doctor this morning and he doesn't know what the problemo is, so I have to go have a CT scan tomorrow morning. The latest development, and this may be completely unrelated, is that I have had the worst headache ever since yesterday afternoon. I woke up every 2-3 hours all night long because of the pain. It sucked. And I feel like complete crap. And the frustration of everything led to me crying at the doctor's office, which just made me feel even more stupid. Oh, and this is far and away beyond the scope of TMI, but I'm telling you anyway-the doctor today wanted to do that thing where they stick their fingers up your vajayjay and feel around. Right away that equals awkwardness, but I also happened to be on my period and had a tampon in at the time. I had to take it out and put it in the hazardous waste box. And then, because everything about the situation wasn't awkward enough, he said he couldn't feel my uterus. I'm pretty sure it hadn't fallen out, so I don't know what the problem was. I've never had anyone not be able to feel my uterus before. But then again I also haven't had a whole lot of people try.

I'll let you know tomorrow how the CT scan goes.

my lady bits

*****If you're a guy and/or don't want to know about my pelvic issues, stop reading now.

Before yesterday, I hadn't had a period since July and since I knew there was no way I could be pregnant, I was a little bit concerned. Not overly concerned though, since I've never been regular and have been on and off birth control since junior high to try to regulate things. Anyway, so I started it yesterday and was as excited as one could be about such a thing, but then early this morning I started to feel pain down there. I assumed it was cramps, but it got worse and was steady instead of intermittent. I've had several ovarian cysts burst before, so I assumed that's what it was and went to the Urgent Care to have it checked out. They did an ultrasound and found a 5 cm. cyst on the left side and fluid on the right side where a cyst may have already burst. Apparently 5 cm. is the borderline between having surgery and waiting to see what happens. Now I have to go in on Wednesday and see a different doctor and figure out what we're going to do. I'm getting really tired of all these female issues! I'll keep you updated . . .

road trip!

I'm in Vegas for the weekend, hanging out with my friend/former roommate, Traci. She has a two year-old boy and a brand new baby girl, so I decided to taunt her with my single, carefree lifestyle. I'm a good friend like that. I drove down Thursday morning and we went to "Couples Retreat" that night.


I thought it was pretty funny, although it would be nice to see Vince Vaughn play a different character. There may be slight variations, but it's pretty much the same guy in every movie. It also would have been nice to not have obnoxious teenage girls kicking my seat back and talking loudly throughout the movie, but that's beside the point. (If you see have seen the movie: the girls seriously had to sit and discuss whether the rabbit at the end was made of wood or chocolate. Yeah.)

Friday we went to heaven on earth, aka Sephora. I purchased many magical products, including this Tarte Treasure Chest set. It was far and away my favorite purchase and a great deal. I will probably devote a whole post to it and my other purchases later. And btw, this picture doesn't do it justice, size wise.


Today we saw "Whip It." It was pretty good, although I was expecting a little bit better. I really like Ellen Page, whom I prefer to just call Juno. I'm also really liking Kristen Wiig these days. Oh, and Marcia Gay Harden has really weird fingers. You will be distracted for forever more when you see them.


I've also baby-sat the nieces a couple times while I've been down here. Tonight, Ashley asked me why I don't have any kids. I told her it's because I don't have a husband, so when she said the prayer to bless the food, she said "and please bless that Kimmie can find a husband." How cute is that!

Halloween is great

I just looked out my back window and saw Thing Number One and Thing Number Two running around outside of the church.

can't get enough of this movie

This is why I don't answer the door

I am waiting for a package, so I assumed that's what it was when the doorbell rang. 'Twasn't. It was a door to door salesperson and he wouldn't leave. Normally when they don't leave it's because they're trying to make the sale, but this guy didn't seem to care much about that. Instead, he was mesmerized by my dogs and then had to tell me all about his dogs and how they're trained to kill and they killed a neighbor's bulldog and he had to go to court. To say this guy was creepy is an understatement. So, the point of this post is that if I am found raped and/or murdered over the next few days, it was probably this guy. I kept the business flyer, and it is hidden in my dresser drawer (in case he tries to find it to get rid of the evidence). Please direct the police to the bright yellow flyer for carpet cleaning that is hidden amongst my undiewears. Oh, and I think creepy dude's name was Michael and he had a stringy ponytail, smelled of cigarettes, and was from Rose Park. Thanks!

awesome movie

I think this one's going on my top movies of all time list. And the following is going on my favorite movie lines of all time list:

Perry: My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift. You threw in the lake next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol. Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of the word idiot, which you f***ing are!

You can watch the trailer here.

several things . . .

• I'm in Wyoming and since Lorri is slaving away at work, I thought I'd run to the store and get the fixings for a delicious roast chicken and veggie dinner. Whilst browsing the produce section, I noticed something disturbing. What I've always thought were turnips (by always, I mean the last month or so that I've actually paid any attention to them) appear to actually be rutabagas. So either I don't know what I'm talking about or Valley Market doesn't know what they're talking about. My money is on me.
  
• You know how when you're texting, the words that you use a lot come up? Well apparently I text about the Duggars a lot. Congrats to Josh and Anna, btw!
  
• Did anyone watch The Office, Grey's, Private Practice or The Mentalist last night? I hate not having people to discuss my shows with. If you watched, email me so we can discuss.
  

pardon my ranting . . .

I just saw the most offensive commercial ever. It's for Wonderful pistachios and shows Levi Johnston (Bristol Palin's baby daddy) with a bodyguard, eating a pistachio, and the tagline is "Now Levi Johnston does it with protection." I've written him a little letter.

Dear Levi,

Wow. You're such an ass.

It's nice that you are setting such a wonderful example for your child. I'm so glad that one day this kid will be able to look at this commercial and see his father making light of the fact that he got a girl pregnant and showing a complete lack of respect for the mother of his child. It will be nice for little Tripp to see that instead of spending time with him, you were living it up in Hollywood, filming commercials, going out with Kathy Griffin for press coverage, and oh yes, we can't forget posing for Playboy. Tripp will be so proud. Oh, I'm sure you're excusing your behavior by telling yourself that this money will pay for everything your child could need. Keep telling yourself that and while you're at it, keep pretending that whoring yourself out like this is a great substitute for quality time spent with your child. Because really, who needs a stable home environment and a loving father when someday, you can show all the kids on the playground your dad's nudie pics.

I can't wait until your 15 minutes are up and you slink back into the cave you crawled out of.

Sincerely (but not really),
Kim

And also,

Dear makers of Wonderful pistachios,

I will never ever ever buy your product, and I will take delight in preventing everyone I know from buying your product as well. Oh, and you should probably fire whoever authorized this ad because he (and yes, I'm assuming it's a he) is a douche and majorly failed at his job.

You suck.

Sincerely (but not really),
Kim

October 6, 2009

Outside my window . . . there's not a cloud in the sky.

I am thinking . . . I had a freakin' awesome hair day yesterday and I'm hoping it repeats itself today.

I am thankful for . . . parents who will still spend several hundred dollars on back to school clothes for me even though I am 28.

From the kitchen . . . I made my root vegetable stew over the weekend and it was delicious. It was actually more than just root vegetables because once I started throwing stuff in there, I just couldn't stop. It had sweet potatoes, potatoes, turnips, celery root, carrots, parsnips, barley, garbanzo beans, hominy, lentils, onions, garlic, diced stewed tomatoes, V8 juice and Italian sausage in it. I was originally going to make it vegetarian, but it just seemed off with no meat in it.

I am wearing . . . PJ's still. I love late mornings.

I am going . . . to go to lunch with Grandma in a little bit. Ooh, and I'm also going to Wyoming on Thursday! Whoohoo! I think the high temperature the entire time I'm there is supposed to be like 42 degrees.

I am reading . . . almost done with "Crossing to Avalon." I should be getting the other book I ordered in the mail either today or tomorrow.

I am hoping . . . people actually show up to be trained today. Yesterday only one person showed up, and I couldn't do a whole lot with that.

I am hearing . . . "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega.

Around the house . . . I really need to clean my room and get rid of a bunch of stuff. I'm feeling stiffled by the clutter.

One of my favorite things . . . good cheese.

A picture . . . apparently someone stole my neck right before this picture was taken.

clarification

So yesterday when I said I had gotten out my winter bedding, I didn't mean that I had gotten it out of storage or the closet or anything like that. What I meant was I picked it up off the floor at the end of my bed where it had been sitting since last winter and I washed it. I don't know why I felt the need to clarify, but there you have it.

October 1, 2009

Outside my window . . . it's cold!!! I actually got to wear a hoodie today. You have no idea how happy that makes me.

I am thinking . . . about how to make a particular hairstyle work that I want to try. Thus far it has baffled me.

I am thankful for . . . seafood linguine at Macaroni Grill.

From the kitchen . . . I bought a bunch of root vegetables. I have big plans for a root veggie soup/stew. I got turnips, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, carrots, parsnips, and celery root. I'll let you know how it goes.

I am wearing . . . A HOODIE!

I am going . . . to go to bed early tonight. I've been really tired lately. It's probably swine flu. Well, that or all the caffeine that has been keeping me up too late.

I am reading . . . Still reading "Crossing to Avalon." I just ordered another book by the same author. I always get super excited when I find used books on Amazon for a penny, but then I realize I still have to pay $3.99 for shipping and then it isn't so exciting.

I am hoping . . . that I figure some things out that I've been working on.

I am hearing . . . The Mentalist. I'm watching with my mommy.

Around the house . . . I got out all my heavy winter bedding.

One of my favorite things . . . the bread at Macaroni Grill.

A picture . . . Amber and some Thai food leftovers. I think at one point there was going to be a whole post around this particular restaurant, but then I forgot.