Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ways to annoy your co-workers

I just found a couple of websites about how to annoy your co-workers. Here are my favorite (and at least semi-realistic) ideas for annoying your co-workers:

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put a piece of clear tape over the bottom of their mouse to stop the ball from moving. See how long it takes them to figure it out.

When a coworker approaches, pick up the phone and start talking. If they try to talk to you anyway, roll your eyes and say into the phone, "Can you hold on for a moment, I have a really rude coworker trying to talk to me when I'm clearly on the phone." Then stare at the coworker annoyed and demand to be told what was so important that you had to put someone on hold for.

Prank call your coworkers by phoning and hanging up. This works best when they are across the room and have to run for the phone. (I've actually done this one several times and it is quite enjoyable.)

Leave plastic figurines on their desk when they're not looking. (This isn't the greatest idea, but it's another one I've done. Or at least I did it until my co-worker finally took the bobble-head doll home.)

Respond to everything they say with a question, and when possible, work in 'Is this good for the company?'

Mess up the settings on their monitor. (I've tried to do this one, but my company insists that everyone lock their desktop when they leave their desk. Way to ruin the fun!)

Replace all their pens with empty or leaking pens. (Did this one too-I took the ink and ballpoint part out of Amber's pen right before we went to a meeting where she was supposed to be the note taker. I then blamed it on Cathy.)

Get new procedures passed at meetings and then, after two weeks, find a new way to do it but don't tell anyone. (Oh my gosh! The manager's at my company totally do this all the time!!!)

Send them messages thanking them for being a special person, and that you truly appreciate all the work they do. (Oh no-I have a co-worker who does this, but she isn't being funny, she's just kinda retarded.)

Wear completely bizarre outfits in the brightest colors you can possibly find. If someone comments, claim your handicapped niece/nephew made it for you and that you think they're an awful person to be making fun of handicapped people. (O.k., my friends from work-who does this remind you of?!?)

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