Monday, November 5, 2012

It's a sick and twisted place.

Here are some of the things that go through my mind on a regular basis:
  • No, I can't follow (famous person) on Twitter because if we ever meet and become friends, I don't want him/her to think I've been stalking him/her.  
  • I should sell all of my belongings and become a wandering gypsy.
  • I should find a job where I can work from home so that my transition to being a hermit will be complete.
  • I so don't like people.
  • I need to be more sociable.
  • Dude.
  • What if all of the lies I've told suddenly came true?  
  • How long can I go without doing laundry before I run out of clean underwear?
  • I wonder if someone's peeping in the window at me.
  • What the hell is the matter with you?  (This could be referring to myself or others.)
  • Put down the book!  You do not need to buy any more books!
  • Where is Veronica Mars when you need her?  
  • That is the most obnoxious child I have ever seen in my life.
  • I've got them so fooled.  If they only knew . . .  
  • You're a moron.
  • Really?
  • I really need to take the trash out.  Eh, I'll do it later.
  • I really need to shave my legs.  Eh, I'll do it later.
  • I'd do him.


Julie Anderson said...

I stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago and I'm so happy about it! You make me pee my pants laughing on almost a daily basis. You write what I'm thinking, the way I think obviously I think I'm hilarious too.

Thanks for making me laugh (and for introducing me to Lamebook)!

Julie :)

Kim said...

Yay! I love new readers! Thank you for your kind words-I'm glad someone else enjoys, and can relate to, the twisted workings of my mind!

Anonymous said...

I'd do him, secret ranking system in my head on every guy I see/meet/work with..:)