Yellow

An email I just received about a conversation between my nieces and sister in-law:

My conversation with the girls today...

Ashley: When are we going to see Kimmy again? I want to go to Wyoming.

Sariah: Kimmy lives in the yellow stuff.

Me: What? What is the yellow stuff?

S: You'll just see when you get there.

M: Ok, but what are you talking about?

S: It's just the yellow stuff. And she has a fountain that has really stinky water. And there are lots of trees and mountains. And Kimmy lives outside. She doesn't have a house.

M: Kimmy does not live outside. Do you mean Yellowstone?

S: Yeah. Yellowstone.

(She continued to refer to it as yellow stuff for the rest of the car ride.)

And now it's October!!!

My cousin lovingly and kindly brought to my attention that it's been a while since I updated. Wendy, your wish is my command. Here's what's been happening:

• I ended up applying for and getting the management job. I told them I would commit to two years. It's good so far-the hours are definitely better. Being on salary is also great. I have a feeling, though, that being the only single and childless member of management is going to mean a lot of travel for me. I went to Laramie last week and I have to go to Casper next week. I volunteered for the Laramie trip and was informed that I was going on the Casper trip. I can't be too bitter, though, since it's for Special Olympics and I love Special O.
  
• My roommate moved out, which really, really sucks, but it's good for her, so I guess I have to be happy. :(
• My parents are coming up to visit this weekend and since I now have a free second bedroom, they're staying with me instead of at a motel. I was going to go buy a cheap bed from the Penny Pincher, but my mom informed me that she didn't want to sleep on a used bed, so I bought a new bed yesterday. Fortunately my parents paid for most of it. I currently have a full size bed and the new one is a queen, so it's totally going in my room and the full is going in the spare bedroom. This whole thing means that I have a place for people to sleep when they come and stay! This means people need to come visit me!
  
• This has all made me feel very grown up. At 30 I finally have a career-type job, my own place without a roommate and actual furniture. Yay me!!!
• Last weekend was my roommate's last weekend in town, and because she requested it, I went with her and other friends to the bar. A guy asked me if I wanted to go next door (to the hotel) and have a good time. I politely declined. Maybe next time.
  
• Did I mention that you should come visit me? Seriously. No excuses.
  

It's September!!!

Holy crap, this summer flew by! I guess it doesn't help when the snow doesn't melt until May-summer seems really short. There was a change in the air when I left work last night. It's definitely starting to get cold, at least at night. Anyway, here's today's question of the day:

Q: If you had to move where would you like to live?
A: If money were no issue, I would love to live in New York City for a while. If we're being realistic, though, I would consider southern California. It's not too hot or too cold, there's tons to do there, it's pretty, and most importantly, my nieces and nephew are there. Unfortunately, the financial situation there is . . . um . . . lacking. I'm guessing that in my line of work, where a lot of our funding comes from the government, there probably aren't a lot of jobs in the state of California.

Question of the Day

There are several questions for today because my answers are short and sweet.

Q: What's the most significant problem facing the world?
A: Stupidity

Q: If you could do something dangerous just once with no risk, what would you do:
A: Swim with sharks

Q: Would you be likely to survive alone in the wilderness?
A: Hahahahahahaha!

morning visitor

Woke up to this little one in the backyard . . .

Pardon the cell phone camera quality! And that's wood for the fire pit, not a pile of crap. :)

Bonus Q

Q: What vice would you indulge in if it had no negative side effects?

A: Duh, all of them!

Question of the Day

Back by popular demand (from one person), I give you the Question of the Day . . .

Before I get to the actual question, I feel I should let you know that the first question I pulled out of the deck was "Which one sexual activity would you like to try if there were no negative consequences?" As a couple of my family members read this blog, I'm going to go ahead and skip that one. They just don't need to know about my predilection for whips and chains. So here's the actual question:

Q: Which long lost childhood object would you most like to find?

A: In 1986-87 my family lived in Spain while my dad was doing research in the archives there. (Let's pause for a moment to reflect on my glamorous life . . . ) We took a trip to Portugal and I of course brought along my beloved stuffed koala bear. This bear went everywhere with me and was the best friend a girl could ever have. Well, until I grew up and discovered other things to be my best friends, but I digress. We checked out of the hotel and a short time later I discovered that my koala was nowhere to be found. We went back to the hotel, but couldn't find it. It was devastating. My parents tried to tell me that koala wanted to stay behind to eat the eucalyptus leaves in Portugal. Ha! What did they take me for, a fool? Just because I was little didn't mean I was stupid. My sweet baby koala would never abandon me like that just for some stupid leaves. To this day I still think one of the maids stole it, because really, who wouldn't want a dirty, worn out stuffed koala bear? Last year my parents finally bought me a new stuffed koala, which now sits on my dresser as a constant reminder of the tragedy that nearly ruined childhood for me. So . . . to answer the question, I really want my koala back. I'm pretty sure that this devastating event led to questionable choices in my adult life, as well as a lifelong distrust of maids.

Emergency situation!

It's official-Wyoming has turned me. This will come as a shock to those of you who know me, but I spent the whole day yesterday fishing and . . . wait for it . . . I liked it. I am not the kind of person who likes dirt and bugs. In fact, it's hard for me to fathom that there are people who do; so when a friend of mind invited me to go fishing yesterday, my natural instinct was to say not just no, but f*ck no. Fortunately, my roommate was being a bump on a log and wouldn't get out of bed, so I decided to go fishing. Of course I only planned to stay for an hour or so-that way my nature allergy wouldn't cause too many problems. I also thought my friend and I were going to just sit around the campfire while her husband and kids fished. This was not the case, however. She made me go out on the water with her. Keep in mind that this is a glacial lake and thus the water is only slightly above freezing. At first I just sat there, but then there must have been a breach in the space time continuum or something, because I found myself doing crazy and bizarre things like putting a worm on the hook and grabbing little fishies to pull the hooks out of their mouths. I not only had dirt on me but also worm innards and fish slime. It gives me the shivers just to think about it now. We stayed out on the lake for a few hours, then went back to shore and I planned on leaving. Somehow I ended up going out again for another few hours. What has happened to me? With the recent plethora of natural disasters, I'm wondering if maybe there was an earthquake in the area I was not aware of and it shook things up in my brain. That's the only possible explanation. This is not normal behavior for me. Quick, somebody give me a UA-someone must have slipped me some drugs!!!



P.S. It's possible that I'm going camping and fishing again next weekend. What has happened to me?????

Attention, Utah peeps!

I'll be in Orem this weekend for my little bro's homecoming. Please stop by and say hello . . . I would love to see you!!!

Decisions, decisions

I'm supposed to be applying for a management position in the company I work for. It would be a great opportunity, but the past couple of months I haven't been able to shake the feeling that maybe it isn't what I should be doing. Today I put in my official letter of interest and now I have this overwhelming, horrible feeling that I'm making a huge mistake. So . . . do I follow my gut or not? I keep saying that whether or not I get this job will decide for me whether or not I stay in Wyoming, so I guess if I don't even apply for the job, that kind of makes that decision for me. Although really, it doesn't have to. Sigh. I don't know what I'm doing!!! Obviously not much has changed since my last post! I'm going to discuss it with the fam this weekend and see what they think, but I think I've already made up my mind. Anyone else want to chime in with their thoughts?

Sigh.

It's happening again. I'm feeling antsy. I need a change. I'm on vacation in California right now and getting some distance from Wyoming has made me realize that I don't really want to go back, but I don't know if I don't want to go back to the job or the state. I definitely want to go back for the people and the scenery. Maybe I just need to change my hair color or rearrange my bedroom. I don't know. I went through this a couple weeks ago and was trying to decide if I wanted to move back to Salt Lake or stay in Wyoming and I decided on Wyoming, but now I'm not sure. There was a job factor that was making all the difference, but now I don't know if I want to deal with the job factor. I don't know what I want. Sigh. I know, my life is super difficult-I live in a gorgeous place, I have awesome friends, and I am gainfully employed. What's a girl to do!?! Anyone have any suggestions? Please, solve my life's problems for me in the comment section!

thoughts

• I have so few Facebook friends that it would be sad to lose any, however, every time I log on I want to delete people based solely upon the number of times they update their status each day.
  
• I went to a class on autism this week and it's pretty fascinating. I plan on doing a lot more studying up about it. Now I have to go and teach all of the staff I work with about it.
• The place I work was having a yard sale as a fundraiser, so I went through all my stuff and got rid of quite a few things. Why does it look like I haven't even made a dent?
  
• Have you seen the new show, "Roseanne's Nuts"? I love me some Roseanne. She's crazy, but in a good way.
  
• What is everyone thinking about this season of So You Think You Can Dance? I haven't been feeling it so much this season. There are a couple of people I like, but I'm not really connecting with anyone. It's all just kinda meh to me.
• I heard last week that the first snow is predicted for six weeks from now (or rather, from last week). Upon hearing this news, I vomited a little in my mouth.
• One of my best friends always says "To be truthfully honest . . . " Is there any other kind of honesty?
  

Long time no see!

So I've been home sick all week and I thought that in between trips to the bathroom (TMI, I know!), I'd update my blog with what's been going on the last two or so months since I last posted. And just so you know, if this post does not illicit a sufficient number of comments, I'm never posting again!!! (Possibly kidding, but not sure at this moment, as I'm kind of finding myself over the whole blogging thing!)

• I moved into a new apartment. Same area, just slightly further out of town. This is my backyard:
• Speaking of the backyard, I came home the other day to find a herd of buffalo in the backyard:
• To go in my new place, I got a new couch:
• My new roommate has this cutie:
• Her name is Vixen and she likes to snug in bed with me:
• Down the road is the following sign and every time I see it, I swear it says Flying Whores:
• Also down the road is this cute goat:
• The weather here has been kinda crappy:
• In fact, it actually snowed the other day:
• I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately doing quite a few things I never thought I would ever do. You see, my roommate’s family has a farm and I love it there. Love everything about it. It’s possible that I’m turning into a farmer. This is the view from their porch:
• One of the things I definitely never thought I would be doing is branding a cow. No, not just watching the other people brand cows, I actually BRANDED A COW!!! I know, it’s like I’m a completely different person! Here’s a cow in the trapping mechanism. It’s not the one I branded, but it’s possibly related, and it's the only picture I took, so here you go:
• Speaking of cows, I had my first farm heartbreak with the little darling below. She wasn’t doing well and I did what I could to help, and I thought she was making a comeback and would be o.k., but then she died.
• And since we’re on the subject of cattle, let’s talk bulls. And their penises. I got to witness bull semen collecting! See that pink thing sticking down in the first pic? Yeah. What you can’t see in the second picture is that while the vet is down there with his little cup, his helper is sticking what looks like a black missile in the bull’s rear end. I felt like I was watching a prison rape scene or something.
• Remember a while ago when I blogged about having seen the eggs coming out of the chickens and I couldn’t eat eggs for weeks? Well, here are the culprits:
• Also on the farm are sheep and goats:
• This little cutie is Bonnie. She and her sister, Emma, are my favorites:
• And this little rascal here just had his um . . . (how do I say this delicately?) . . . well, he had his little goatie balls banded. Instead of just cutting them off, they put rubber band thingies on them and then they just fall off. I can only hope that some day soon I will be walking along and discover a couple of goat balls lying on the grass. So anyway, sadly, his humping days are no more.
• This is my partner in crime. Her name is Lacey and she’s the biggest sweetheart ever. I love her to pieces and force her to ride along with me on the back of the four wheeler. Some day I'm going to dognap her and never give her back.
• There are also geese on the farm. See that white one? His name is Frederick, but it should have been Little F*cker. No really, he comes at you and is like an attack dog! At one point I had to flee to my car with him sitting outside, flapping his wings at me, waiting to peck me to death. If ever I have a chance to run him over or accidentally stab him with a pitchfork, I will.
• I’ve been doing a little bit of traveling for work lately. I made a road trip out to Nebraska to pick up a new client and sadly, this is the only photo I took. Nebraska is gorgeous, by the way. The cow feedlot we passed along the way, however, made me want to vomit.
• I also went with my clients to Special Olympics in Laramie. Since everything involved clients, I obviously couldn’t take any pictures, but I had a great time. Remember that commercial from years ago that may actually have been for Special Olympics, wherein they’re running a race and one of the competitors fall and the rest of them stop, turn around and go back to help that person finish the race? Well, imagine three days of that. I was slightly emotional.
• So I think that’s about it for now. Sorry this was such a long post. As a reward for finishing, here’s another shot of the bull peen:

my heart just broke a little

I found out that one of the most bad*ss characters in one of the most bad*ss movies ever has just been cast on The Young and the Restless. My grandmother is now going to be enjoying this guy as much as I do, and that's really kind of weird.

This gave me chills

herpes

Remember this post? Well, the following search terms have lead people to my blog:

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I'm so proud to be the definitive source on information about Celtic Thunder and herpes! (Is it sad that the previous statement was in no way sarcastic?)

ABCs of Me

• Age: 29 (30 next month-I can't believe it!)
• Bed Size: Full
• Chore You Hate: Cleaning the toilet
• Dogs: Lizzie and Mr. Darcy
• Essential Start of Your Day: Check my email, work stuff, Facebook and blogs
• Favorite Color: Purple
• Gold or Silver: Silver
• Height: 5'6ish
• Instruments I Play: Used to play the piano.
• Job Title: Lead Direct Support Professional
• Kids: Yes, please!
• Live: In the frozen tundra of Wyoming
• Mom's Name: Margie
• Nicknames: Kim, Kimmy/Kimmie
• Overnight Hospital Stays: several
• Pet Peeve: tardiness
• Quote From a Movie: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
  
• Right or Left Handed: Right
• Siblings: 2 brothers
• Time You Wake Up: Usually around 8:30
• Underwear: I really like those boy short things.
  
• Veggie You Dislike: Brussel sprouts, eggplant
• What Makes You Run Late: I don't believe in being late. If I am, though, it probably has something to do with not being able to find something to wear.
• X-Rays You Have Had: Teeth, back
• Yummy Food You Make: enchiladas, Texas sheet cake, ham dip, pasta salad, various soups
• Zoo Animal You Like Best: I've never really thought about it. Monkeys, I guess.
  

Happy Spring!

The view outside my window right now . . .


I'm not bitter at all.

Really? REALLY?

Just checked the weather and there's a Winter Weather Advisory. Eff you, Wyoming!

Note to self

• Do not tell any resident of Wyoming and/or Idaho that you thought an elk was a male deer. They will laugh at you. (In my defense, I don't come from an outdoorsy family. While all of y'all were out hunting and spending time in the great outdoors, I was going to museums and historical sites.)
• While it may be exciting to see the egg come out of the chicken's butt, it will make you never want to eat an egg ever again. Next time look away.
• It is never a good idea to kill time at Target. It is also impossible to just buy one or two things there.
  
• If a guy sticks his tongue in your mouth try really hard to not think of Ron puking up slimy slugs in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
• Asking about a person's tattoo is a great way to get a quiet person talking.
  
• Clothes can be washed-the love and snuggles of a muddy dog are priceless.
  
• Eat all the vegetables you want, there's still nothing better than a good steak.
• Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. Sometimes you have to make up a story about a co-worker falling and breaking her leg.