Sunday, February 3, 2008

Better late than never

I'm a little late with my President Hinckley post, but I guess it's taken me a little while to gather all my thoughts together. I have to say that I am so very, very happy for him. I can't even begin to imagine how joyful his reunion with Marjorie was. It's so sad to think of people who don't believe in life after death. I can't imagine being with my family for only this life.

President Hinckley holds a special place in my heart, not just because he has been the Prophet longer than anyone else in my lifetime, but because when I first started thinking about coming back to the Church, I read his biography. There have been few times that I have felt the Spirit so strongly as when I was reading that book. It was exactly what I needed to read at exactly the right time. For most people contemplating membership in the Church, they probably feel the Spirit most when they read the Book of Mormon, but I was a little different. I had grown up in the Church and pretty much knew it was true, but I just didn't know if I wanted to be a part of it. I struggled a lot with whether I would ever be good enough, how the Church could be perfect but the people so imperfect, whether I was being judged, etc., etc. Reading about President Hinckley and his family gave me hope and made me feel loved. It made me feel like everything would turn out o.k. and that I'm not perfect, but I'm not expected to be yet. I'm just expected to keep trying and keep taking the next step in the right direction.

I had better be honest, though-it was about another year after reading his biography that I actually did start going back to church on a semi-regular basis, which was a little over a year ago from today. Considering what I've been through the last six or seven years, it's weird for me to say this, but this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life. Every step of the way though, whether it was in General Conference, or the Ensign, or an old talk on BYU TV, President Hinckley was there with me, saying exactly what I needed to hear in order to either take the next right step, or more likely, get myself back on track and where I needed to be. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not be where I am today spiritually if it were not for President Hinckley and his example. Words cannot express how grateful I am for him and how selfishly sad I am that he is gone.

I love President Monson too, though, and I'm praying for him because I'm sure he's overwhelmed with the huge shoes he has to fill. I think he's up to the task. I'll bet he has lots of stories, even gospel stories, we haven't even heard yet!

No comments: