Please do not

1. Sign the Honor Code and agree to dress a certain way, and then wear short shorts to class. If there is a legitimate reason for you to wear said shorts (which there isn't), please do not sit with your knees all the way up so you can rest your head on them. Wanna know why? Because I don't appreciate getting glimpses of your junk, and I don't think Heavenly Father does either.

2. Spend the entire two hour class period sharing a beverage with your spouse and mouthing "I love you" to each other. This is not cute, it is vomit-inducing.

3. Raise your hand and share with the entire class how your wife turned out to be a lesbian and cheated on you with her best friend. What am I supposed to do with that information? I can't look you in the eye anymore.

And here's Week 2

Oh, and I didn't mention it before, but Twitch is hot. That doesn't really have anything to do with his dancing or the show, but I thought I'd mention it anyway, just because I can.

Dick Clark pretty much sucks

They keep on taking down my video clips because of copyright lameness. Here (again) is Mark and Chelsie's dance from SYTYCD Week 3. And yes, they do spell her name wrong in the clip. It really is Chelsie, not Chelsea.

You'll never believe it!

I saw The Drowsy Chaperone tonight and oh my gosh, you'll never believe who was in it!!!!!

Gilbert freakin' Blythe! Seriously.



This is what he (Jonathan Crombie) looks like now.


The show was great. It was lots of fun and kept me laughing almost the entire time. Oh yeah, and did I mention Gilbert Blythe was in it?

Now if I could just see Jake Ryan in person (yes, I realize he isn't a real person), all of my childhood fantasies would be complete.

fun websites

Here are a couple new to me websites that I've been enjoying lately:

Primetime in No Time is great because it shows you highlights of what was on t.v. the night before so you don't have to actually watch any of it.

Reality Rocks is a blog I love to read for the So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol posts.

SYTYCD Week 3

Mark and Chelsie. She irritates me, but she's from Orem so I like her anyway. If you're from the same place I am, I'll pretty much root for you no matter what. Well, unless you're David Archuleta, but let's not get started on that topic!

SYTYCD Week 2

Here's Twitch and Kherington, aka Twitchington. This was supposed to be the Viennese Waltz, which it wasn't, but that's o.k., 'cause it was beautimous!

SYTYCD Week 1

This is Katee and Joshua. He's awesome. I didn't like her at first, but she's growing on me.

So You Think You Can Dance

I look forward to summer every year just because of this show. Love, love, love it! If you've never watched, you really should check it out. It's on Fox on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Wednesdays are the dances and then the eliminations are on Thursdays. Every week I mean to post a video of my favorite performance, but I always forget. So . . . now we're going to play catch up. I'll post clips from weeks 1, 2, and 3 and then we'll be all caught up for week 4. Enjoy!!!

summer classes

Summer term has started and it is going to be insane. This means that either I won't blog very often, or I'll blog a ton because I don't want to do my homework. We'll see. This term I'm taking Statistics, yet another marriage and family class, and Parenting. So . . . Statistics. Yeah. Not so much fun. It is kind of entertaining to watch my 60ish year old professor get all excited about random sampling, but I honestly don't know why people choose to major in this subject. This is going to be a hard class to get through. I did sit behind some guy who had a mullet though. I was distracted from the boringness of the class by staring at his long, luscious locks. I can't really say that I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, but I was tempted to poke at it with my pencil. My marriage/family class is pretty good. The professor keeps talking about how passionate and sexy his wife is. He also mentioned exultant ecstasy. And no, he wasn't referring to a sweet trip on E. I haven't decided yet if I'm creeped out by this. I don't really want to picture him like that, but I guess it's a good thing that the professor of a marriage class still feels this way after 23 years of marriage. My Parenting professor is kind of special. I think he's about to retire or something, and so he doesn't feel the need to keep up with newfangled technology. Every other professor I've had since I started back up with school has used Power Point for the lecture notes. This guy still uses an overhead projector. Seriously. The transparencies must be from like ten years ago, because I don't think they still make them any more. So anyway, that's what's going on in my life right now.

Oh, and I started my 21-day detox diet on Monday. It lasted a day. I'm going to try again though. Things have just been crazy with school and Mark got his Eagle Scout thingy, so I had to bake a bunch of yummies for that. My treats were a huge success, by the way. One kid (Becca, this would be your brother) was grabbing my faux truffles by the handful.

I survived!

Well, the papers have all been written, the finals have been taken and my first term back in school has ended. Wanna know the best part? I didn't fail! I had doubts about my abilities to go back to school after being away and not using my brain for years, but I did o.k. Actually, I did better than o.k., I was, to quote Mia Michaels, banoodles!

natural stuff

I absolutely love natural, organic, homeopathic, etc., stuff; meaning that I like to read about it and buy the stuff, but not necessarily partake of it (I had Krispy Kremes and Diet Coke for breakfast this morning). For the last year or so I've been reading the book "The Path of Practice: A Woman's Guide to Ayurvedic Healing" by Bri. Maya Tiwari. I've been reading it for the last year because it's my bathroom book (everyone poops, you might as well read while you're doing it). Today I came across the following paragraph and I loved it for so many reasons. Perhaps you have to have my sense of humor, but I think (hope) you'll enjoy it as well.

"Fred, a yoga teacher and longtime student of mine who healed himself into remission from the HIV virus by bringing these practices of breath, sound, and food into his life, has attracted a thriving community around him as a result of teaching sadhanas to his students. They enjoy trekking with Fred into the nearby mountains to find grinding blocks and hand stones straight from the earth."

Oh happy day!

The New Kids tickets have been purchased!

The Happening

Has anyone seen the tv commercial for the movie, "The Happening," in which the selling point is that this is M. Night Shyamalan's* first R-rated movie? How sad that your movie apparently is so bad that you have no way of advertising it other than its rating.






*aka M. Night Shamalamadingdong

More analytics

Here are some more things that people are googling when they stumble upon my blog:

• chris heimerdinger arrested
• chris heimerdinger saturdays warrior
• chris heimerdinger lyrics
• write to chris heimerdinger
• was chris heimerdinger ever in saturdays warrior
  
• download chris heimerdinger books for free (are we seeing a pattern here?)
• is zac efron back in utah after the movie awards in june
• kevin costner's tetanka
• eckhart tolle his real name
• i'm trying to stop getting in a bad mood (hey, me too!!!)
• maeve binchy passage for a funeral
• pink eye and waitressing
• std make me sick (yes, that is generally how a disease works)
  
• rapture of canaan inappropriate
• tracey jackson hole burgers morgan

It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who never capitalizes anything when searching. I just don't feel it's necessary. It's also interesting to see that I am apparently some kind of authority on Chris Heimerdinger. While I enjoy his books and especially enjoy saying his name, I know nothing about the guy. I could make some stuff up though. If someone finds this post while searching for Mr. Heimerdinger, word on the street is that he was not in Saturday's Warrior but he did do the costumes for it; he was arrested once for possession of magic shrooms but it was a mistake-he was just holding them for a friend; and you can can download his books at heimer-the-dinger.com.

Wanna know what I hate?

I hate it when you buy like four pairs of shoes at Payless and then several days later get an email from them saying that it's now BOGO time. Losers.

Oh no they di'n't!

The jerkos at Viacom have removed my David Cook video from YouTube! Why do people have to go and ruin all the fun over stupid copyright claims? Do you remember how Dick Clark did the same thing with the Taylor Swift cavorting in the rain video clip? Let's say it all together now . . . LAME with a capital L, A, M and E!

I got nothin'

My brain is completely fried. It's the end of the term and I have been writing so many papers and doing other homework that I can't think to blog. In the next week and a half I have to write two more papers and take three exams.

Here are some random snippets of what has been going on in my life and through my mind:

• I am so happy that So You Think You Can Dance is back. I'm really looking forward to this Top 20, especially Twitch and all the kids from Salt Lake.
• I love Mervyn's. They always have the best sales.
• I got that Quantum Wellness book that was on Opry (Oprah), and when the term is over I'm going to do the 21 day detox. I'll let you know how it goes and how long I actually manage to stick with it.
  
• It's been really interesting this term to learn about parenting and realize how everyone around you is doing a crap job of raising their kids. Just kidding, they're really not, but things that experts would consider mistakes have all of a sudden become glaringly obvious to me.
  
• Payless has really cute summer shoes right now. You should go check them out. They are far and away my favorite place for shoes because I have ginormous feet and Payless is the only place I can find that actually carries my size on a regular basis.
  
• I am becoming increasingly more obsessed with Iron Chef America. I love the grumpy old man judge.
  
• Did you know that being unemployed means you can't shop so much? Yeah, it kind of sucks. No, pretty much it really sucks not having any money. Oh well, it's about time I learned some self-control. We all know I'm not so great in that department!!!
  
• I don't think I've mentioned this on my blog yet, but holy cow, I am so happy to be back in school! It's weird to compare my attitude about college when I first went, and my attitude now. I am just so unbelievably grateful to be here, I can't even tell ya!
  

Don't cheat the poor people!

While at the library yesterday I picked up a couple of books for sale, and that put me in the mood to go down to DI to get some more cheap books. DI is far and away my favorite place to buy books because they're so cheap. Because I read so much I can't afford the bookstore, and I like to possess books, so I don't go to the library very often. So I went to DI and was completely shocked. The books seem to have doubled, if not tripled in price. I don't know if it was just that location or if it's all of them. I couldn't believe it. My former dollar books are now two or three dollars a piece! Several of the books I got had previous price tags on them from either garage sales or used book stores, and the DI prices were at least a dollar more. It made me mad. I guess I might have to start using the library after all. Jerks.

BTW, on the way down to Provo, I drove by a Burger King and there was an ambulance in the parking lot and people rushing around. Isn't that a wonderful advertisement! Come in for a Whopper, leave on a stretcher!

Um . . .

Apparently I have been watching Pride and Prejudice too much because yesterday at the library some lady asked me if she detected a little bit of a British accent when I spoke. Nope, just too much Mr. Darcy!!!

Possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen

Love it!

Best class ever!

For the next paper due for my Strengthening Marriage and Family class, I have to choose from several activities, one of which is to watch a movie and discuss how it relates to the principles from the Family Proclamation. Guess what's on the list. No, really, think about it for a second.
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It's Pride and Prejudice!!!!!!!

So now the question is, which version do I watch? Colin Firth or Matthew Macfadyen? I used to think no one could ever possibly be better than Colin, but I'm starting to second guess myself. Let us ponder . . .

Colin?


Or Matt? (I can call him Matt 'cause we're tight like that)


Colin in a wet shirt?


Or Matt emerging from the mists?


I think that because I am an extremely dedicated student and want to do my very best on this paper, I should probably just watch both. Hahahaha! Yeah right! I'm going with Matt because frankly, I'm not willing to spend six hours on this paper.

Analyze This

I use Google Analytics to (kinda) track my blog. If you're a blog stalker, don't worry, it doesn't tell me who you are. It basically just tells me where people are located, if they linked to me from a different website, and if they get to my page searching through Google. My favorite thing about it is that it shows me exactly what people were searching for when they stumbled onto my page. Here are some good ones:

• Zac Efron likes and dislikes
• the stars prayers have been answered
• sound of music stuff
• I love being an aunt
• ok to take Benadryl and Excedrin together
• BYU Honor Code office "long hair"
• byu online clothes mary kate olsen (I'm guessing this was supposed to be buy, not byu)
• shun the non-believer (this actually appeared twice)

Also, in case you're interested, people from Canada, the UK, Israel, Chile, Philippines, Spain, Estonia and Germany have visited my blog. I'm totally famous! Do you want my autograph? Superstar!