Let me introduce you

to my BFF, Lorri.


We've been friends since 2005, but it feels like a whole lot longer (in a good way). We were roommates for a little over a year and a half and survived deaths, mean neighbors, psycho stalkers, and more drama than we could have ever possibly imagined. Here's a list of stuff about Lorri:

• She's the best cook ever . . . as long as you're not eating low fat. We seriously purchased a case of butter at one point.
• She's very patient. She puts up with crap from people long after I've given up on them.
• She has a handicapped daughter who is possibly the sweetest person on the planet (I have nieces, so I have to say possibly). Watching the two of them together is amazing.
  
• She has the most fun family I have ever met. I could spend years and years with her parents and brother and never be bored.
  
• She's up for anything. It doesn't matter whether it's fun or boring, if I want to do it, she's ready.
  
• She used to be a nurse, so anytime I feel sick in the least bit, I tell her about it first. Just in case you were wondering, she's given me a shot in the butt before too. Now that's real friendship.
• She is not modest in any way, shape or form. I can't count how many times I've walked into her bedroom only to have my retinas burned by the sight of her nekkid boobies. She also goes to the bathroom with the door open. I did finally get her to close the door when she went number two though.
  
• I'm pretty sure she would kill for me if I really needed it.
• We have the kind of relationship where I can tell her if she's looking a little crackwhore-ish, and she can tell me if I'm being a biotch, and we don't take it personally.
• She always notices if I've lost weight, even if it's just a little bit, and tells me I look good.
• We went beyond BFF's a long time ago, and now we just refer to each other as our non-lesbian life partners.
• She eats my mushrooms and the chocolates with nuts because I don't like them.
  

Now for some stuff only she will get and laugh at:

• I'm gonna be honest. I'm not gonna lie.
• Billy's poem
  
• My pinky finger, and how it's little.
  
• I totally look older than her.
• the box of tacks
• You're acting like a freakin' five year-old.
• Don't bring bad things up before breakfast.
• Me dancing in the car.
• M.O.M.'s
• Lancaster!
• The bathroom at Journey. 'Nuff said.
• Fluff me!
• biscuits at Red Lobster
• me gagging at yucky smells
• When I had to brush my teeth in the kitchen.
• Did you do something bad? Why did you tell me you love me? What did you do?
• Watching t.v. in our rooms and yelling back and forth.
• Pat looking like Jesus.
• Creepy Mike and his garments
• The Republican
• Diesel soaked BBQ'd meat, topped with a cheese slice.