Muahahahaha!

You must check out the Overheard in the Ward website. Some of my favorites:


Boy in sacrament meeting: Bread and water. Bread and water. That’s all they ever give us. I want a hot dog.

Non-Member: Does your church serve the little pieces of toast and the water shots?
Member: Umm… sure.


Young Man Blessing the Sacrament: Oh God, [long pause] the card is gone!

Heck to the yeah, mofo!

Word on the street is that there's a Footloose remake in the works and guess who the new Kevin Bacon is . . .

Zacquisha!

drooling

I must have these shoes in pink. Does anyone want to lend (give) me $760 plus tax? I promise I will (not) pay you back!!!

Shia

I am now officially obsessed with Shia LaBeouf. As long as I block out the memories of Even Stevens so I don't feel like a creeper, I quite enjoy him. I even lowered my standards and watched Transformers*. Everyone needs to watch this movie for one 10-15 second part. At around the 48 minute mark Shia talks about how Satan's Camaro is stalking him and his voice goes all squeaky. It's friggin' hilarious. I've watched it like 47 times. You probably should too.



*I don't believe in movies that contain superheros, robots, or mentally handicapped people as main characters. Occasionally I will watch said movies, but only under certain circumstances (eg. if Shia LaBeouf is in it).

Common knowledge?

I was talking to a couple of my co-workers last night (sexy arms dude was one of them) about an 80's movie (well, me talking; them pretending to listen while thinking about how they weren't born yet) and I mentioned the two Coreys. Can you believe it-they had no idea who I was talking about. Doesn't everyone know about Corey Haim and Corey Feldman?!? I just checked and even Wikipedia has a page about them. See here. I'm finding myself talking about a lot of stuff and people that they've never heard of. I'm really not THAT much older than them. Am I just a freak and know too much pop culture crap? Or are the Coreys general knowledge that everyone should have heard of?

A Halloween Miracle!

A miracle occurred today. My little Primary children were . . . wait for it . . . well-behaved! Not just well-behaved, but absurdly well-behaved. I don't know if their parents threatened them or drugged them or what, but holy cow! I've never seen anything like it before. Even the Primary Presidency noticed and were amazed. I think it may have been because this one particular little demon-child wasn't there today. But whatever the reason, I fully expect that this feat will never occur again so I'm just going to carry the memory with me in my heart and cherish it always.

It's Raining Men

This one gets really good around 1:10.

I Feel Pretty

Oh so pretty and witty and . . .

Barbie Girl

Add a little bronzer to Barbie and you've got my little Zacquisha!

The Sound of Music

One of my favorite movies growing up is now all that much better with a touch of Zacquisha.

Ready for it?

The next series of posts are going to be my own person tribute to Zac Efron (aka Zacquisha). Who knew there was so much about him to mock? (Me. I knew it. I knew it long ago.) Now I admit I do think he's a hottie, but good looks can only compensate for so much. Now let the mocking begin . . .

lame-o!

Gloria Steinem and Billie Jean King were on Oprah last week along with Maria Shriver, who I think looks like an alien. I absolutely love Billie Jean King. Awhile ago I listened to a lecture she gave about Title IX and it was awesome. Gloria Steinem, on the other hand, irritated me a little bit on the show. She kept talking about how all the work she's done for women's rights has been about giving women options. It was all about options and having a choice. But then she started talking about how it still isn't equal yet because more women are staying home to raise kids than men are. K, Gloria, but I thought it was all about options. Women's rights shouldn't be about forcing half of the women in the country to go to work while half of the men stay home. That's not really giving them options, now is it? The beauty of women's rights is that women can now CHOOSE whether to stay home with the kiddos or go to work. (and also voting and all that other crap) It just bugged me that she kept going on about options and women having a choice, but then essentially said that the women who stayed home while their husbands worked made the wrong choice. See when you give someone a choice, you can't then make little of the way they chose just because it isn't what you would have done. I'll get off my soapbox now . . . thanks for letting me vent!

today

So pretty much Cricket sucks. In honor of Arrested Development I tried to find The Final Countdown for my ring tone, but they apparently don't have it.

Speaking of AD, I made my parents watch the first episode with me yesterday and they enjoyed it so much we ended up watching four episodes.

Has anyone else noticed that Totino's frozen pizzas have shrunk? The price went up too. Jerks. Obviously if I'm eating your crapola frozen pizzas (which aren't crapola, btw, they're delicious) I have no money. If I had money I'd be buying Freschetta or Digiorno. Or actually going out for pizza. But I have no money, so I'm forced to pay $1.25 for your now hockey-puck-sized-pizza. And when I say I'm forced to pay $1.25, I mean my parents are forced to pay $1.25.

Does anyone else watch Gossip Girl? I haven't watched tonight's episode yet, but I finally watched last week's over the weekend and I have to say I'm pretty much in lust with Chuck Bass. Not that he's all hot like Nate, but geez louise, he's nasty! Not yucky nasty, but mean, bad-boy nasty. Janet Jackson Nasty Boys nasty! I love it! And I'm also sick of Dan and pretty much his whole family.

I'm going to see Eagle Eye tomorrow. I'm pretty excited to see some Shia LaHottness.

K, well that's all I've got for today. I'll let you know how the movie is . . .

new recipe posted

This one is a family favorite. We usually have it with Christmas dinner and sometimes at Thanksgiving.

Seriously?

I went to ShopKo this evening and they already have their Christmas stuff out. Can you believe that? Actually, CostCo had theirs out like a month or two ago. Before you know it they're just going to keep it out all year long.

Did anyone watch The Office last night? I loved Dwight's butter-covered watermelon baby. When Jan came in with Astrid (aka Astird), I felt bad for Michael. He was so looking forward to the delivery.

I'm applying for a grant through ORCA (Office of Research and Creative Activities) and spent three very long hours working on the proposal tonight. I think they must make the submission process a pain in the butt so that not that many people will apply. If my research project is approved, I'll basically be running the control group for the study I'm working on later, involving the effects of drugs on the way the color blue is seen. Our hypothesis is that visual processing, particularly the way the color blue is viewed, differs with gender. The retina contains 4-6 million cones, the shortest of which you use to view blue light. If you're addicted to drugs, particularly cocaine, your dopamine levels (which effect your ability to feel pleasure and cause cravings) get all messed up and screw with your short cones. The long-term goal of the project is to come up with more effective treatment options based on physiological information and not just modifying behaviors. If all goes as planned we'll be able to use EEGs, ECGs, ERGs and GSRs* to help judge a little bit better whether treatment is working or not. Wow, I sound like I totally know what I'm talking about! It's much more interesting than it sounds.





*electroencephalograms, electrocardiograms, electroretinograms, and galvanic skin responses

playlist

I just joined the bandwagon and added a playlist thinger to my blog. I'm thinking you should just leave my page up on your computer so that you can enjoy the fine tunes. It's a perfect blending of country, folk, oldies, rock and chillax music. This means that if you use Reader, you're going to have to actually to go my page. You will do it and you will like it.

longest day EVER!

Wanna hear about my exceedingly long day today? I thought so. I was up at 5:30(ish), left for school at 7:30, went to class and studied until 3, and worked from 3 until 9:30. I just got home. I'm worn out. But, despite the fact that my day was forever long, it was a really good day, so all is well, all is well.

And on to a different subject . . . I am trying my darndest to be social and . . . wait for it . . . it's not as bad as I imagined. Shocked are you? I hung out with a friend all day yesterday (remember my homemakerness?), I'm hanging out with her again all day tomorrow, I've got a Girl's night Saturday and next Thursday, plus a work party next Friday and I'm hanging out with a friend from work on Tuesday. Holy Mother Teresa! It's amazing how much you can do when you actually leave your house! While I do miss my hermit lifestyle, I think I'm going to stick with this for a while. I'm pretty sure that God is blessing mankind through my newly acquired social skills. If you feel the need to have God's blessing (me) in your life, just let me know and I'll pencil you in!

homemaker extraordinaire

Wanna know what I did today? Well, let me tell you. I picked grapes, washed them, juiced them, and canned the juice. Oh, and while the grapes were juicing, I helped grind wheat (meaning I pushed the on button on the wheat grinder) and make homemade whole wheat bread. I am very proud of myself. I think this may possibly be the most productive day I have had in pretty much my whole entire life. Are you proud of me? I'm pretty sure you should be.

The Elders!

Walking along in Cusco we ran into the missionaries! Here is Elder Vela and Elder Loa. Just think, Packhams, that'll be Roberto before the year's out!

Can we be done now?

There were many, many pictures taken during this trip. I'm not a picture person. Let's look at an example.

Here's my aunt, cheerfully showing off the most famous stone in all of Cusco. It's 12-sided and is from the original walls.

And here's me, pretending to be cheerful, pointing out the dumb rock. If I could have flipped the camera off without getting yelled at, I probably would have.

funnies

Occasionally we would see signs in English that had been translated correctly, but mostly we saw signs like the below. (Remember my baked piglet?)

Don't even think about it!

These dogs are the cousins of the Ugliest Dog in Peru. What is even more interesting is that this picture was taken in the kitchen of a restaurant. Those dogs better have their food handlers permits if they're gonna be in there!

poverty is abundant

Look, Robert, this is where you're going to be living!

Inquisition Museum

I've been slacking with my Peru posts, so I thought I'd do a little catching up today. These pictures are from the Museo de la Inquisicion in Lima. I did not want to go to this place. I tried everything I could to argue and get out of it, but my powers of manipulation failed me. I didn't want to go because I read in the guidebook that they had wax figures being tortured how they did it during the Inquisition. That's just not my idea of a fun afternoon-looking at people being tortured. So anyway, I sucked it up and went with everyone else, but I did avert my eyes in the "torture room." I had kind of a hard time in the dungeons too because I knew that they were the actual dungeons (the museum was built where all of this actually occured) and that real people had been held captive and tortured there. Because I am slightly dramatic, I imagined that I could hear the people screaming. I know-drama queen, right!

My mom and me in front of the museum. I just noticed that the "a" in la has fallen over. This location in Lima was one of two tribunals that King Phillip II set up in the Americas. The other one was in Mexico.

When someone was accused of a crime (ex. witchcraft, blasphemy, homosexuality, etc.) it was done anonymously so they never knew who had accused them. They were then taken away and locked up to await their trial. Their property was also taken to pay for the "court costs" and to pay for their needs during their stay in the dungeon.

The accused were outfitted in a lovely robe and cap with a devil on it. I believe if they were actually executed, the cap was hung up in their local church with their name on it so that their family and everyone else would always know what happened.


They would then bring the accused in front of the judges to hear the charges. I think the judges either acquitted (very rare), suspended (be on your way but we're keeping an eye on you), found guilty and punished or found guilty and killed. There may be other verdicts, but I don't remember.

I think the torture was not so much punishment as it was a way to get a confession out of you in order to free your soul. I know, sounds kinda fishy, huh! I think this particular activity was meant to dislocate your shoulders or something. I think they also did it by the ankles too.

The rack was the method of choice.

I think this is called garroting. Sorry-I'm not up on my torture terminology.

This one is self-explanatory.

Oh, look! It's President Bush waterboarding a terrorist!

There was a group of nuns who went through before us. They seemed out of place in a museum about Catholic torture.

previously mentioned thinger

Here's the sketch from MadTV.

recently viewed movies and tv

Definitely, Maybe-This movie definitely sucked. It maybe would've been better if it had been like an hour shorter, but even then I think it probably would have sucked. Ryan Reynolds (oh my hotness!) is just not capable of not being a goofball. I kept waiting for him to break character and do something goofy, but it never happened.

21-I enjoyed this movie, although I did predict the end. I expected to be distracted by Jim Sturgess's (Have I mentioned Across the Universe is one of my favorite movies? I know I have, but I thought I would mention it again.) lack of an accent, and although there were moments where it threatened to break through, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I also have to mention that Kate Bosworth is too skinny-she looked awesome in Blue Crush, and now she's just skin and bones. Also, I LOVE Kevin Spacey! I love Kevin Spacey being bad. He's fine in movies where he's the good guy (Pay It Forward), but man alive, he's best when he's being bad.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind-I loved this movie. It spoke to me. I hate it when people say something speaks to them, but this movie did. Speak to me, that is. Jim Carrey is what Ryan Reynolds utterly failed to be-a goofball, comedic actor who can also do serious roles in a believable way.

The Office-I didn't enjoy this week's episode as much as I normally do. I'm not liking this whole Pam being gone thing. She needs to come back now.

Grey's-I think Meredith irritates me more and more every week. McDreamy is starting to get on my nerves, too. And Alex. One of the skit shows-I think it was MadTV-did a sketch that made fun of Grey's and House. It was funny. I'll see if I can find it on YouTube for you.

Um . . .

So did you guys know that the mail is delivered on Saturdays? My dad wondered out loud this afternoon if the mail had been delivered yet, and I was like "Um . . . it's Saturday." Yeah. I'm seriously losing my mind.

new recipe

I've posted a new recipe on the sidebar. It's tasty.

Just say no!

As I walked down the stairs in the library earlier today, I rounded a corner and my eye was immediately drawn to something that is becoming all too common around campus. No, not a hot and heavy NCMO session. I'm referring to something worse. That's right, I'm talking about crack. Butt crack, that is. It seems like everywhere I go, there it is, lurking in the corner, waiting to jump out and draw my attention. May I propose that young women everywhere (and elderly women too if you have crack issues) start wearing longer t-shirts and/or higher waisted pants. Let's buck the system and show a little modesty, girls. Remember-dressing like Britney Spears isn't all it's cracked up to be, so even if you have to get up at the crack of dawn to find clothes that fit properly, let's not let this one fall through the cracks. Mkay?

the senility is setting in

Old age is hitting and my memory is starting to go. Normally I never forget things. You would think this would be a good thing, but it's not because I pretty much remember every insult, every moment of humiliation, and every foot in mouth moment along with all the good memories. (except for the years 2001-2004) But anyway, Lorri asked me today where I got my new purse and I could not for the life of me remember where I bought it. It drove me crazy. I finally asked my mom and she told me. It doesn't sound like much, but I'm also finding that I'll blog and then not remember what I wrote the next day. And I leave comments on other people's blogs, but have no idea what I said or what their post was about, I just know that I left a comment. My mind is seriously starting to go. I don't know if it's a delayed effect from the drugs or if all the crap I'm learning at school is pushing everything else out of my brain or what. Whatever the reason, I don't like it and it needs to stop.

playlist update

I knew this would happen. As soon as I blogged about my playlist I realized I was kinda over those songs. So . . . since I had nothing better to do (liar!) I just spent the last two hours downloading in a completely legal way (muahahahaha!) some new music to listen to. I'm in an odd musical mood. For the moment I'm really into Panic! at the Disco*, The Killers, 30 Seconds to Mars**, Fall Out Boy, Paramore***, The Dresden Dolls, Leighton Meester's remake of "Bette Davis Eyes", and to mix it up a little, Britney Spears. I just realized how trendy it sounds when they're all listed together. Pardon the trendaliciousness (totally just made that word up-could you tell?!?). Also, I don't know why I felt the need to link all of those names. And I didn't even link them to the band websites or anything, just Wikipedia.


*I can't say their name without the exclamation point. It's not just Panic at the Disco, it's PANIC!!! . . . at the disco.
**Hello, Jared Leto hottness!
***The phrase "once a whore you're nothing more" from their song "Misery Business" has been running through my head for the last week or so. It alternates with "The Final Countdown." But yeah, I walk down the halls of BYU singing about being a whore. Nice.

Not an Addict

I love this song ("Not an Addict" by K's Choice). But don't worry-I'm not addicted to it. Muahahahaha! O.k., that was kinda lame. Sorry.


BTW, I apologize for the Telejunkie weirdness at the beginning, but you take what you can get with YouTube!

despondent sigh . . .

I'm going through Arrested Development withdrawals. All day long (I know the day is only half over-whatever) I've been singing "The Final Countdown" in my head, but the only line I know is "It's the final countdown!" And a guy in one of my classes was talking about being an MFHD major and I really wanted to ask him if he wanted to be an analrapist, but I didn't think it would be appropriate. And I almost said "Hey, brother!" to my brother this morning, but I knew he wouldn't get it. I can't handle this! I can't wait until I go to work this afternoon because I know people there watch/watched the show. Only a little over two hours to go . . . Does anyone else out there love this show and want to discuss it with me? Please, I am begging you . . . share A.D. funnies with me!

It is finished

I finished watching Arrested Development. My life feels strangely empty. Now what am I going to do to avoid studying? Hulu does have 3 seasons of ALF online. I guess that could work.

My favorite AD moments:

• Gob's dance number to "The Final Countdown" at the start of his magic show.
• Tobias being the first Analyst AND Therapist (analrapist-not pronounced the way it looks).
• Steve Holt!
  
• Gob on his Segway.
• Buster and his hook. He's a monster!

I think I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

musicality

Because I fully expect you to love what I love, here's what I'm listening to these days. Sidenote-playlists on my iPod are pretty much the greatest thing ever. Well, next to Arrested Development (I just finished Season 2).

Not the Doctor-Alanis Morissette
Caring is Creepy-The Shins
Come to my Window-Melissa Etheridge
Gravity-Vienna Teng
Typical-MuteMath
Ruby's Shoes-Lori McKenna
Boys Don't Cry-Plumb
It Ain't Me Babe-Melissa McClelland and Jesse Cook
Wonderful World-James Morrison
Angry-Matchbox Twenty
Don't Look Back-Antigone Rising
Happiness is a Warm Gun-Across the Universe Soundtrack
Deliver Me-Sarah Brightman
In Your Eyes-Peter Gabriel
In the Waiting Line-Zero 7
The Blower's Daughter-Damien Rice
Damaged-Plumb
Feels Like Home-Chantal Kreviazuk
Sisters of Avalon-Cyndi Lauper
Never Surrender-Corey Hart
The Sea-Morcheeba
Are You Out There-Dar Williams
Heartland-Celtic Thunder
I'm Sorry-Anouk
Lips of an Angel-Hinder
Dark Lady-Cher
Misery Business-Paramore
In Another Life-The Veronicas
Ordinary-Train
Stupid-Sarah McLachlan
All Summer Long-Kid Rock

If you haven't heard these songs, you should probably get on that.

must . . . stop . . . watching

I have a new obsession. It's Arrested Development. I know I'm kinda behind the times here seeing as how it isn't even on t.v. anymore, but I've been watching it online and I can't seem to stop. I'm almost done with the first season (I started watching yesterday). This is officially my new favorite cancelled show. Rumor is they're making a movie. Can't wait! Love it! And by the way, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett are hawt! Plus I love Will's creepy Gob voice. If you haven't seen the show, I highly recommend that you do. Hulu.com has all three seasons online.


Oh, and since we're talking about hotties, who is this hottness with Shannen Doherty? I must know.

dadgum

I can't do this anymore. I need to get married. I can't be forced to kill my own spiders any longer.

I don't know the definition of the word

On one of the random blogs I subscribe to there was a list of "10 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single." The woman who writes the blog quoted it from someone else's blog. Anyway, the second thing on her list was "If you can't joyfully submit to your parents, you won't joyfully submit to your husband." I would list all the issues I have with this comment, but it would be waaaay too long. Oh what the heck, I'll list a couple anyway.

1. I don't really plan on "submitting" to my husband. Marriage should be a partnership, not one person dominating and the other submitting. But if there is going to be submitting, let's be honest, it's not going to be done by me. :)
2. If any man thinks I'm going to submit to him, let alone joyfully submit to him, oh honey, he's got another thing coming.

I could go on for a while, but I'll just leave it at that.

new recipe

There's a new recipe o the week posted. BTW, have you noticed how for every recipe I've posted I say how you're supposed to do it, and then how I do it? I don't believe in following recipes. I'm a firm believer that they're just guidelines or suggestions.

you should probably change that

It's official, I have found the worst LDS Singles screen name ever. Are you ready for it? Are you sure?
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little kid lover

Why? Why would you use that as your screen name? I'm sure all the single moms on the website are just itching to have him come over and hang with the kids.