Can't stop laughing at these

I need an intervention of some sort

I really need to stop watching Little House on the Prairie and all those Love Comes Softly Hallmark Hall of Fame movies. I keep getting this absurd desire to move to the country, become a homesteader, and shun society. Please send help.

Come on get Higher

Here's the song I mentioned in my last post.

September 8

So I saw this on another blog and I'm stealing it. The goal is to do this daily, but we'll see how long that lasts!

Outside my window . . . it's hot. I thought it was supposed to be cooler today. No?

I am thinking . . . about terrorists.

I am thankful for . . . good friends.

From the kitchen . . . I just ate the best omelet ever. I put gouda in it and made a sandwich with toasted sunflower bread. Tasty!

I am wearing . . . jeans that have magically become much looser since I wore them two days ago. Something else to be thankful for!!!

I am creating . . . um . . . very little. A blog entry, I guess.

I am going . . . to run pee real quick, before i float away.

I am reading . . . "How to Run a Traditional Jewish Household" by Blu Greenberg. It's for my Religion in the Home class and it's really cool.

I am hoping . . . that it will cool off quickly. I hate sleeping with only a sheet. It's not as cosy.

I am hearing . . . Sugarland singing "Come On Get Higher". It's a live cover of that Matt Nathanson song and I'm completely obsessed with this version. I'll have to see if I can find it on youtube so that I can share the joy.

Around the house . . . We're working on painting a downstairs bedroom and putting together a cute new bed from Ikea.

One of my favorite things . . . dogs. Especially when they're snuggly.

A picture . . . This is my older brother and me when we lived in Spain. We're pretending to be the bull and matador at the bullfighting ring in Seville.

Season of Love by Shiny Toy Guns

I'm loving this song. And not just because it was on the season finale of Gossip Girl when Chuck Bass (I can't just say Chuck, it must be Chuck Bass) finally tells Blair he loves her. Sigh. Love it.

some good news

There is still justice in this world.

disgusting

This is the sickest thing I have ever seen. Click at your own risk. Thanks, Traci, for relieving me of my appetite for forever more!

one of those moments

So there's this class that I've been putting off taking and I could never figure out why because it's a stupid, introductory, 100-level class that's required for my major. It should be easy and probably pretty fun, but in the past I would enroll in it, but then drop it because I just didn't want to take it for some reason. Well at this point, there's no escaping it. I'm a Senior, I'll be done soon, I have to take it. I had it yesterday morning and I walked into the class, sat down amongst all the wee freshmen, and commenced to mentally roll my eyes, questioning the necessity of the class. And then the professor came in and she was all blond and skinny and tan and perfectly dressed, and at that point the mental eye rolling went into overdrive and I just shook my head and slouched down in my seat, wondering how I was going to endure the semester. But then she started to talk. She told us how she's 34 and had just gotten married two months before, and she talked about how almost all of her siblings got married before she did, and how she had kind of gone from occupation to occupation, etc., etc. And that's when I realized that the reason I hadn't taken this class before now was because I needed to take it with her, and I needed to hear what she had to say. I love it when you can look back and see how things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to. It wouldn't have been nearly as meaningful of a class if it had been taught by someone who hasn't been through the same things that I'm going through: being single while the culture around you promotes getting married ASAP and most of your friends got married years ago, at 19/20; not really knowing what you want to do with your life, but trying to pick yourself up and move on even though things haven't really turned out the way you thought they would. I love that when she talks about the wait being worth it, I'm not thinking "um . . . your life appears to have gone exactly as planned, so please cease speaking to me." So now I'm actually kinda excited about this class that I've been putting off and dreading for so long. Seriously, I love moments like this!

Haven Kimmel

One of my favorite non-fiction writers is Haven Kimmel. She's written several novels, but it's her two memoirs that are friggin' awesome. If you haven't read them, I would highly suggest that you do so. I'm currently rereading She Got Up Off the Couch and Other Heroic Acts from Mooreland, Indiana. (BTW, does anyone know how to underline in Blogger? It always bugs me when I can't underline a title. Yes, I am that anal.) Here's a little quote from the book that made me laugh. This is Haven talking about her sister:

• "Melinda was pretty without meaning to be and without trying. She just couldn't help it. Her hair was blue-black and her eyes were gray-green with long black lashes and she had the sweetest smile in the world. Never mind that she was made of pure Satan . . . " (Pg. 50)

I love it. Go get these two books. You won't regret it, I promise.

apologies, but not really

I've really been a slacker blogger lately. A slogger, if you will. I feel like I'm rebelling a little bit because things happen and I'll think that I should blog about it, but then I don't want to because I don't want to feel obligated to do so. But at the same time, I like to blog. So yeah. I'll try to be better, but only so long as it doesn't irritate me.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven!

Mark just brought me this breakfast sandwich from Ernie's Sports Deli. It's delicious. And it has 3 different kinds of meat on it. Plus fake cheese and a fried egg.

And now I want to vomit.

And then maybe eat another one because it was that good.

some pics

Mark's missionary farewell was a week ago and while everyone was in town (and in between bursts of rain), we took some family pictures.

time's a-wastin'

I have found that the best way to procrastinate and waste time when you should be writing a paper and studying for a final is to watch movies on YouTube. Each part is about ten minutes long, so you watch a segment, do a little studying, then watch another segment. Yesterday I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic, which I actually liked. I've only heard bad things about the movie, and I have a special fondness for the books (you know I like a series when I count down for the next book and immediately run out and buy it, even though it's in hardcover), so I figured I would probably hate the movie. Maybe I liked it because my expectations were super low. Anyway, besides that movie, I have also developed an obsession with the Hallmark movies. I know, they're super cheesy, but that's o.k. If you have a chance, I would highly recommend watching The Magic of Ordinary Days. It's my favorite. Love Comes Softly is good too, and there's actually a whole series of those movies. But seriously, watch The Magic of Ordinary Days. It will make you want to be a better person. When I'm looking for a whole movie on YouTube, I search for the title and part 1. They also have lots of great 80's movies on there. I may never buy another DVD.

my new favorite thing

I love this thing. I would marry it if I could. It's Tarte's Eye Couture Day-to-Night Eye Palette. It has ten eyeshadows that are unbelievably pigmented. It may not surprise you to learn that I own a plethora of eyeshadows, and I can definitively say that these have the best color I've ever seen. Because they're highly pigmented, a little goes a long way (thus justifying the price). My only complaint is that they're all shimmers-no mattes. The palette also includes a double ended eyeliner (bronze and charcoal-both of which look awesome) that stays on like nothing else I've ever tried. It also includes a double ended brush that somehow works magic. It blends like it's nobody's business.
Tarte has a couple other palettes like this one that I'm going to need to possess.

Since we're discussing movies . . .

This comes out on DVD tomorrow.


And just because I care . . .


And my cousin, Wendy, does not like the Zefron. He's not manly enough for her. But really, would you rather have this . . .


or this . . .

I simply must put the movie Zardoz on my to-see list!

(500) Days of Summer

Went and saw this with the fam this afternoon. Wow. Loved it. Will probably be buying it. And downloading (completely legally, of course!) the soundtrack.

Slumdog Millionaire

I know. I'm a little behind the times here, but I just watched this last night for the first time and LOVED it! I've been putting off watching it because excrement, poverty and mutilated children make me uncomfortable. The poopies actually were funny. The poverty was not, but I survived. I had to leave the room for the eyeball scene. If you haven't seen this yet, you really should watch it. And for those of you who have higher standards than myself, my mommy says that it is perfectly acceptable to watch an R-rated movie if it has redeeming social value. And honestly, I was more touched and uplifted from watching this than I was at church yesterday (which probably says more about me than church), so there you go.

P.S. I went to bed singing Jai Ho, woke up still singing it, and have had it in my head all day. Love it!

Staph Update

I am pleased to announced that after only a couple of days of being on massive amounts of antibiotics, my festering, leaking wounds (now isn't that a great visual!) are much better. I was supposed to go back to the health center today to get them checked and get the test results from the swab they took, but um . . . the wireless wasn't working on my laptop all day, so I had to rush home to check my email and Reader. Admit it, you would have done the same thing. I'll just go tomorrow. But anyway, this picture sucks 'cause I took it with my phone. They look much better-no more festering, and no more swelling. Just a little redness and scabs. That, I can handle.

truly disgusting

I got a little nauseous looking at these up close. But hey, at least they weren't oozing puss when these pictures were taken!

The first one is of the not so bad lesion. The next two are of the big, nasty one. You can't see it very well, but the second one has kind of star shaped dark red/purple-y streaks spreading out of it.

nastiness

So a week ago I discovered a couple of bug bites on my legs and didn't think much about it until they started getting all red and swollen and full of puss. Sick. I thought they had just gotten infected somehow, so I slapped some Neosporin on them and went on my merry way while occasionally wondering if maybe the bug had laid babies under my skin and they were growing. Well finally this morning I called the nurse at the health center and she told me to come in and have them checked out, which I did, wondering the whole way down there if they would slice my wounds open and spider babies would come pouring out. Fortunately, that was not the case, but unfortunately it turns out that my bug bites have turned into lesions. Nasty, infected lesions caused by MRSA, which is a kind of staph infection. Apparently this infection, which is really contagious, has been spreading on campus. Oh yeah, and it's some kind of superbug that doesn't respond to normal antibiotics. Good thing BYU is warning students about this, huh! Oh that's right, they aren't. But anyway, they gave me a shot of antibiotics, a bunch of antibiotic pills and antibiotic cream. Hopefully this will work. I have to check back with them on Monday. So yeah, that's the story of my nasty, puss-filled, weeping lesions. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I absolutely did take pictures just so I could post them on my blog. They'll be up later today. I know you can't wait.

John Hughes Montage

Sadness. Some clips from some of my favorite movies of all time set to one of my favorite songs of all time. I'm feeling the need for a John Hughes 80's movie marathon. Anyone interested? Bueller? Bueller?

Now I'll never be President!

I just discovered my long lost Kenyan birth certificate. Check here to see if you have one too. Sorry it's cut off. I don't know how to fix it.

update

I haven't posted for forever because well, I just didn't want to. And I still don't really want to. Has anyone else found that while there are tons of things to blog about, sometimes it's just way too much effort to actually do it? I will do a real blog post soon though, I promise. Summer term is winding down so I have papers to write and projects to finish, which should mean that I don't have time, but in reality means that I will want to waste time and procrastinate, so hopefully I'll be posting in the next little bit. Some things to look forward to:

• I was in Vegas this last week and got some of the most awesome products ever at Sephora. Really. I'm obsessed.
  
• I've been in massive amounts of pain off and on for the last week.
• I've got strong opinions to voice about this new fat people dating show.
• So You Think You Can Dance finale this week! Sadness. But so exciting!
  
• My thoughts on my new singles ward.
  

And thank you, Sister McKinlay, for the chocolate last week. It was quite possibly the best chocolate I have ever eaten and trust me, I've eaten a lot of chocolate! Plus, it totally hit the spot!

Do you think the library has this?

I'm not sure whether to laugh or avert my eyes at this very not politically correct book.

I can't wait!

Have you seen the trailer for the new Alice in Wonderland? It looks awesome!

wow

This is far and away the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my life. Check out these Harry Potter interviews.

Loving this song

The Hush Sound - New Music - More Music Videos

Gorgeousness

I've been trying to look a little less scummy lately, but since I'm beautificationally challenged, I've had to watch videos on YouTube to show me how to do my hair and make-up. I know, I'm lame, but I don't have a big sister to show me how to do this crap. The best I could ever manage was in sixth grade when I would wear a ponytail and slap a giant bow on it. And when I say giant, I'm talking like half the size of my head. I remember my BFF at the time, Brittinee, also had an affinity for large hairbows and she actually had a bow that was made of some kind of mesh and it had little multi-colored balls inside that shook around when you moved. I was beyond jealous. Those were the days. But anyway, back to the videos. I found a great channel on YouTube called PurseBuzz. There's also a website. Here are some of my favorite videos:

• How to thread your eyebrows. This is addictive. I love it.
• How to do milkmaid braids, part 1 and part 2. I haven't quite mastered this enough to wear it out in public yet, but it's pretty cool looking.
• Cute waves.
• Purple eyeshadow. Not scary like it sounds-I wear purple eyeshadow all the time because it goes really well with my green eyes.

Those are just a few of the many, many videos on this channel. I also subscribe to the blog Bellasugar, which is where I found this cute hairstyle. I did this yesterday and got tons of compliments. Well, o.k., not really, but it did make me feel extra confident. :)

Marriage Protest

Oh. My. Gosh.

I just saw this on someone else's blog and LOVED IT! You must watch.

Tastiness

Have you checked out the Pioneer Woman's new Tasty Kitchen site? I'm slightly obsessed with it.

Hallelujah!

I just learned that I have officially been released from my Primary calling!!!! I mean I figured I would be released when I refused to go anymore and told them I was going to start going to a singles ward (solely for the reason of getting out of this calling, in case you were wondering), but to hear that it's now official is a fabulous feeling. Does it make me a bad person that I just up and quit? I tried to tell the appropriate people (well, person) that I didn't want to do it anymore and I needed to be released, but after like two months nothing had happened, so I took matters into my own hands. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and stand up for your mental health and let's be honest, the well-being of the children. So yeah, today's been a really good day!





I do actually feel slightly guilty. People talk about Catholic guilt, but I'm pretty sure Mormon guilt gives them a run for their money. I will not succumb to the guilt, though. I'm going to enjoy this moment and my freedom. I feel like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. You can make me work with children and you can make me feel slightly guilty, but you'll never take . . . MY FREEDOM! I've never actually seen this movie, but I'm sure it somehow relates.

Oh Edward, I mean Cedric

ABC Family has been running the Harry Potter movies all weekend and we're finally up to The Goblet of Fire, or as I prefer to call it, The One With Robert Pattinson. I haven't seen this one since Twilight came out and now I'm finding that Edward, I mean Robert, is kind of distracting. I keep searching him out in different scenes and I swear I saw him sparkle a minute ago. I think I might need to just turn it off now.

Robert Pattinson. He's so hot right now.

playlist

I just posted a new playlist of all the music I've been listening to lately. As always, it's pretty random, ranging from sweet 80's soundtrack songs to country to lots of Britney Spears to new age to one random classical song to celtic awesomeness. Oh yeah, and it's possible there may be some New Kids on the Block songs. And maybe a song from High School Musical 3. I know.

You know that feeling you get

when you've had one line of a song stuck in your head for a week, but you can't for the life of you figure out what freakin' song it is, and every single day you go through your iTunes trying to find the song, but you can't, and then you google the lyric for like the fifth time and you FINALLY find the song you think it is, only to find that somehow you've deleted that song from your iTunes (which would explain why you could never find it), so you have to go to YouTube to find the video to confirm that this is, in fact, said song, and you discover that it really, truly is the song you've been thinking and dreaming of for the PAST SEVEN DAYS? Yeah, that's like the best feeling ever.

In case you were wondering, the song was "Blue Eyes" by the Cary Brothers.

super saver

I just wanted to let you guys know that my cousin, Wendy, has a great new blog about coupons, saving money, free stuff, etc. And she posts all the time, so there's always something new to check out. Anyway, go take a look . . . I'm saving now, are you?

blah

I'm sitting here watching the recap of the Michael Jackson memorial. It's all just very sad. It's hard to hear about all the different drugs he was taking because I can completely relate. Obviously I never took anywhere near as much as he did, but I understand wanting to escape. I understand being willing to do whatever it takes to be able to fall asleep at night so that your brain will just stop running overtime. I understand the craziness that comes with the disease of addiction; the absolute obsession and preoccupation with getting your next fix. It's still crazy to me how after years of being clean, if something happens that I'm not sure how to deal with, the thought of using still goes through my mind. It doesn't happen all the time, and it may only be for a split second, but it's still there. It's like a dark cloud that just permanently hangs over your head. It doesn't always affect you, but it's always there, just waiting to swoop in. Of course there are things you can do to keep it at bay, but in the back of your mind you know the insanity will come back in a split second if you aren't careful. And what really, really sucks is that it will never go away. Ever. And every time another person dies of an overdose, whether it be a celebrity or a regular person, I think about how that could be me. I think about how at one point during my using I actually wrote a note and left it by my bed listing what I had taken and how much of it I had taken, so that if I was found unconscious (or worse), the EMT's would know better how to help me. Of course it didn't occur to me to just not use. The need to escape was too strong. I knew I could be killing myself, but I did it anyway. That's the definition of an addict-knowing the consequences, but doing it anyway because in that moment, when you're in full blown addiction, you just plain don't have a choice. So yeah, I can relate.

P.S. Don't worry, I'm not all depressed or anything, I promise! I'm grateful to be alive and sober, and this is just a good reminder to be careful with my thoughts and actions.

P.P.S. I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors in this post. I don't want to reread it all, but I'm so completely anal about spelling and grammar that I can't let it go without acknowledging that there may be mistakes. That's what happens when your parents are both teachers.

stinkin' thinkin'

For one of my classes, we're reading the book "Bonds That Make Us Free" by C. Terry Warner. It's basically a self-help book and why we're reading it for this class, I have no idea. Other than that, it's pretty good. There was one particular part in a reading we did last week that I liked. It says (and I'm taking parts from a couple different pages here):

• We've all known a teenage beauty who's convinced she is hideous. . . . The beauty would never have suspected herself hideous if she had not made her appearance a major issue by wishing to be gorgeous. . . . these people would never have imagined the possibility of their monstrousness if they had never tried to prove themselves impressive. . . . as self-betrayers we project an image of a deserving, worthwhile person, and then we struggle constantly to produce evidence that we're measuring up to that image. . . . We have little conception of how worthwhile we are because we are working so hard to prove how worthwhile we are!

I guess I just liked this because it talks about how through our own messed up expectations, we set ourselves up to be disappointed in ourselves. I'm trying to work really hard on not having ludicrous expectations for myself and just accepting myself as I am. So yeah, that's about it.

scandalicious!

I have a new obsession with blind celebrity gossip. Not blind as in they can't see, but blind as in they give you the story without saying who it is and you have to figure out who they're talking about. For example, see if you can guess these celebrities . . .

• This A+ list Academy Award winner/nominee actress spent some time two weeks ago at a Veteran's hospital. She did so quietly and without publicity. She spent time with every patient she could and when she left, she gave them all gift bags which included a $1000 gift certificate to Best Buy.
• While shooting on the set of their latest movie, these two stars have a completely different way of interacting with their fans. Well, I should say one interacts with fans, and one pretends she cannot see or hear them. Our B+ list movie actor usually plays the fun guy and it seems that when he is filming it is the exact same way. He spends most of the time in between takes speaking with fans, taking pictures and talking the entire time. Our A+ list actress on the other hand spends her time in between takes as far away from the fans as possible and has absolutely nothing to do with them. She is very good at pretending not to hear them or see them.
• This Academy Award nominated/winner A+ list actor doesn't get much publicity for all of the good he does, and so I thought I would share one of the things about him which he did for no reason other than being a great guy. While shooting a film our actor was introduced to a young girl. The girl had wanted to meet our actor for a very long time. Because she was dying of leukemia, her parents had asked Make-A-Wish to make it happen. For whatever reason they had not. Well, someone on the set heard about this little girl and asked our actor if it would be ok for her to meet him. He said sure, and the girl came. At the time she visited him she had a few weeks to live. When he asked about her medical treatment he was told there really wasn't any money. Our actor paid for all her medical bills and three years later she is still alive and still in touch with our actor.
• This intense B list movie and sometime television actor takes parenting very seriously. He knows the reputation of bars and clubs in Hollywood to serve underage celebrities. So, to make sure his B list actress daughter doesn't drink he calls ahead to wherever she is going and makes sure they know they will be in for a world of hurt if they serve her booze.

Can you guess who the celebrities are?

1. Angelina Jolie, 2. Paul Rudd and Reese Witherspoon, 3. Johnny Depp, 4. Eric and Emma Roberts.

These were just some of the tame ones. Crazy Days and Nights has other more scandalous blinds as well.

the righteousness rat race

Today in New Testament we discussed the clean/unclean aspects of the miracles Jesus performed and some of the stories that are told in Matthew. We talked about how the Law of Moses compartmentalized everything into being either clean or unclean and if you touched something that was unclean (lepers, dead people, things having to do with death, bodily fluids, etc.), that impurity was then transferred to you and you would have to then purify yourself. But despite all this, Jesus went out of his way to touch unclean people and spend time with those who were seen as unclean or sinners.

So then, if Jesus focused his time and efforts on the "sinners" and unclean, what does it really mean to be Christlike? Do we get too caught up in being righteous and following the letter of the law that we forget to love and embrace the people who could most use it? I think too often we reach out to people because it's what we're supposed to do, not because we actually care. There were many times as a teenager that I felt like I was the Young Women's service project but there were also times when certain people reached out to me and made a difference, all because I felt like they genuinely cared about me; I wasn't just a good deed to cross off their to do list. Religion shouldn't be a rat race to see who is the most righteous. We shouldn't avoid people who are "unclean" for fear they'll rub off on us.

I see things like this a lot with addicts. We tend to do bad things and we'll be the first to admit that, but I can pretty much guarantee you that if you try to spend time with us, we're not going to hold you down and inject heroin into your veins or make you smoke a crack pipe. The thing that most helps me when I'm dealing with someone who has issues is to realize that events in their lives helped make them that way. No one just decides one day to start doing drugs or randomly sleep around or go steal a car. Chances are they've spent a good part of their lives feeling like they weren't good enough in some way (not to mention, of course, serious issues like abuse, addicted parents, etc.). So why on earth would you treat someone like a project or look down on them when all they want is to be loved? Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love! (Sorry, Moulin Rouge was just on t.v.)

Don't worry that I'm completely horrible at this. I think my motives for doing things are suspect a good bit of the time and I'm sure that comes across in my actions. So I guess my question would be is this a case where you fake it til you make it, despite the fact that people can see right through you? Or should you not do certain things because because they're fake? I know that feeling like I was being treated like a service project did a whole lot more harm than good, but would I rather have just been ignored? There's got to be a balance in there somewhere, right? If you can figure out where that balance lies, please let me know!

Grrr

You know those days (or, in this case, like an hour) where everything just flat out irritates the crap out of you? Yeah, that's where I'm at right now. I really need to work on not letting things get to me because as soon as I let a couple things get to me, everything else just snowballs. Blah. Anyway, that's all.

Matthew

O.k., this one is super, super long and I don't blame you if you choose to skip over it, but it's also got some super, super interesting stuff in it. It's super meaty. I hope you take time to read it.*

Who knew the Bible had so much debate to it? It's old; you would think the debate would be over and done with. Not so much. And I like it. Apparently there is something called the Synoptic Problem. The problem basically is this: the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke) have a lot in common. In some places they say the exact same thing, word for word. So did they all just magically come up with the exact same things to say in the exact same way? Or did they copy from each other? Biblical scholars (which obviously does not include me) say that Mark was written in the 60's and Matthew and Luke were written in the 80's, which would lead you to believe that Matthew and Luke copied parts of Mark. But then there are also parts of Matthew and Luke that are the same and that aren't found in Mark. Historians have theorized that these things come from another source, which they call "Q". Q stands for "quelle" which is the German word for source. This document (if, of course, it existed) no longer exists today, but is a collection of the sayings of Jesus. Some say it may have actually been the Gospel of Thomas. So . . . if you're following me here, my point is that Matthew and Luke both have parts that are word for word from Mark, parts they have in common that may have come from document Q, and parts that are unique to that particular book.

So, that being said, what makes the book of Matthew unique? Why did the author choose to include those things? To understand these things, you have to know a little bit about what was going on in the Holy Land during the time Matthew was written. The big issue during that time had to do with the Gentiles. The early members of the Christian church were (obviously) Jewish, and there was a big debate about whether anyone who wasn't Jewish would be allowed to become a Christian. Some believed that they had to convert to Judaism first before they could become a Christian. They couldn't quite decide whether they were still Jewish or something completely new. So then Paul comes along, has a vision, and proposes that everyone should be allowed to join the Christian church. Much debate ensues.

So then who was Matthew written for? Non-Christian Jews? Or other Christian Jews who were having a hard time accepting Gentiles into the church? Well, in the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is portrayed as more Jewish than in any of the other gospels, yet at the same time, the "heroes" of most of Matthew's stories are Gentiles. Interesting combination.

I should also add that Matthew is formatted a bit differently than the other Gospels. I had never thought of this before, but obviously when it was written, it wasn't nicely divided into chapters like it is now. Originally, Matthew had an introduction and five books (much like the five books of Moses in the Old Testament), followed by a climax/passion. Each book starts with a narrative about Jesus, then has Jesus giving a sermon, and then ends with the phrase "and Jesus ended these sayings." Book 5 ends with "and Jesus ended all these sayings." So pretty much if you're going to read Matthew, you shouldn't read it in modern chapters, but by the original books.

So let's start with the introduction, which comprises Chapters 1-2. The introduction chapters are purely Matthew-there's no Mark or Q in them.

• Verse 1. Matthew included three theological statements in this one sentence. First, Jesus' name isn't Jesus Christ. Christ isn't a last name, it's a title. The Greek word "Christ" is equal to the Hebrew word "Messiah." So, he's saying that Jesus is the Messiah. Second, When he says "son of David" Matthew is telling us that there is a NEW Kingdom of God, and that Jesus is the Davidic King. Third, Matthew says "son of Abraham". Part of the Abrahamic promise is that ALL nations (meaning Gentiles) will be blessed.
  
• Verses 2-16. The long, boring genealogy that we all tend to skip over. Admit it, you do it too! However, in this genealogy, it's interesting that three women are mentioned. Thamar (v. 3), Ruth (v. 5), wife of Urias-Bathsheba (v. 6). It is also interesting that all three of these women were Gentiles, and they also had some scandalousness going on. Much like . . . Mary, who apparently was much gossiped about back in the day. I guess the whole pregnant before married thing was quite scandalicious.
  
• Verse 16. So we get to the end of the genealogy and discover that this is the genealogy of Joseph. But wait! Joseph wasn't actually Jesus' father, so what's up with that? I've heard a lot of people say that it's just proving that Joseph would have been the King of Judea had Judea been free and Joseph and Mary were cousins, blah, blah, blah. Yes, it's true that Joseph may have been of the royal lineage, but so were a lot of other people. Joseph could have been King, not would have been King. So then what's the dealio? Why are we given a genealogy that isn't Jesus'? Well, let's move on to...
• Verse 21. This verse says that Joseph will name the child. Turns out that in antiquity, naming the child was part of the adoption process. So now that Joseph has named and adopted Jesus, the genealogy becomes his. It's also interesting to note that Old Testament Kings were adopted metaphorically by God. Matthew flips it around and the literal Son of God is adopted by Joseph, of the Davidic line. Also, the name Jesus is Greek for Joshua, so in his actual lifetime, Jesus would have been called Joshua, which means salvation.
  

O.k., this is way too long. I'll write up some more tomorrowish. Hope you found it interesting and it made you think a little.

*Please remember that everything I'm saying is from notes I've taken in my New Testament class. You may agree or disagree with what I say, but I'm just reporting what I've learned and found interesting.

The Gibson Girl

In my clothing class we've been talking about fashion during the different decades of the 1900's. Here's the Gibson Girl look. I'm sure you've all seen it before, but it's still fun to look at.

The first Gibson Girl was a cartoon drawn by Charles Dana Gibson. The look was generally an embroidered blouse worn with a skirt and it was supposed to look sporty and portray women as more emancipated than before. 'Cause you know, nothing says emancipated like a super tight corset!


They wore a special s-curve corset to get the wasp waist (normal width in the ribs, teeny tiny waist).

Another version of the Gibson Girl look was a tie or cravat worn with a brooch. Think Anne of Avonlea. And since we're thinking Anne of Avonlea, let's also take a moment to think Gilbert Blythe.

Sigh.

Herod the Great

Remember him? Had all the babies in Bethlehem killed? That was like the least of his cruelness. It is perhaps fitting, then, that Josephus said this about his last days:

"But now Herod's distemper greatly increased upon him after a severe manner, and this by God's judgment upon him for his sins: for a fire glowed in him slowly, which did not so much appear to the touch outwardly as it augmented his pains inwardly; for it brought upon him a vehement appetite to eating, which he could not avoid to supply with one sort of food or other. His entrails were also exulcerated, and the chief violence of his pain lay on his colon; an aqueous and transparent liquor also settled itself about his feet, and a like matter afflicted him at the bottom of his belly. Nay, farther, his privy member was putrified, and produced worms; and when he sat upriht he had a difficulty of breathing, which was very loathesome, on account of the stench of his breath, and the quickness of its returns; he had also convulsions in all parts of his body . . . "

Man, there's nothing like putrid breath and worms in your um . . . privy member. Beyond nasty!

So . . .

I haven't had much to blog about lately since all I've really been doing is going to class and studying. The term only started a week ago, but it's already out of control. Anyway, my point is, I'm going to start posting a little bit of what we're talking about in class. We're talking about some really interesting stuff and really, who doesn't want to be a student and take classes, but not have to do assignments or take exams? So this is my gift to you-you get to learn along with me, but don't have to do any of the extra crap. So exciting. If, for some odd reason, you don't like this idea, 1.) blame my friend Traci, because she encouraged me to do this and 2.) I don't care because it's my blog. And maybe this way you'll actually get posts from me on a regular basis. Remember the good ole days when I actually had things to talk about (or, more often, I didn't have things to talk about, but wrote anyway) and you would get a couple posts a day? Maybe we'll get back to that point. Or is the thought of several posts a day from me frightening? Sometimes it's not a good thing when I have a lot to say!

school and stuff

I got back from Wyoming on Saturday-I wasn't supposed to come home until Sunday, but I got a call on Friday night from my mom telling me I had to come home because the carpet people were coming on Monday and we had to pull up all the old carpet. So since I'm such a wonderful daughter, I acquiesced to my mother's demands and rushed home, only to not really help at all with the carpet removal. Actually, that's not true, I swept up some nasty dirt that was underneath the padding.

The carpet people are here right now and just discovered that the carpet they had shipped in from the warehouse in Georgia is two feet too short. Apparently whoever measured did a crap job. We best be getting a nice discount.

Classes started up again today. My schedule kinda sucks. I have class from 8-9:50, 10-12:30 and 1-2:50. It was a really long day. I like my classes, though. I'm taking:

• New Testament-This class is actually being taught by a guy who's working on his PhD in Archeology, so it's a lot more historically based than feel-good, fluff stories, which I really, really like. Today he mentioned how after the Maccabean Revolt, one Hasmonean King had 800 men crucified, had their wives and children killed in front of them while they were hanging on the crosses, and then celebrated it all by having a feast with his prostitutes. Or something like that. My notes are a little sketchy.
  
• Temporal Welfare-Basically a class on being self-reliant and not being materialistic. So pretty much skills I don't have.
• Clothing the Family-This class is about concepts and theories in clothing, fashion and consumer behavior. "The Devil Wears Prada" was mentioned several times in class today and one of the assignments is to take a shopping trip to two different kinds of store and compare clothing. Good times.

Oh, and also, I'm trying really hard this term to be friendly instead of just sitting on the back row, rolling my eyes. So pretty much congratulations to me. Plus, just in case you wanted to know, HALF of my Temporal Welfare class is pregnant. I kid you not. Granted, there are only 10 of us, but still. HALF!

Good times

I'm in Wyoming visiting Lorri. Have I mentioned that I LOVE it up here? Be back Sunday!

More greatness

Check out the Awkward Family Photos website. Hilarious!

A Few of My Favorite Things

I saw Betsy's list of her favorite health and beauty products on her blog and immediately had to do my own. Now before you look at my list, I should warn you that I have, on occasion, been called a product whore. I should also warn you that most of these products are expensive, but I'm a slacker and rarely actually get ready, so the expense is justifiable because it takes me forever to use things up. That being said, these are just a few of my favorite things. I could have gone on, but I spared you.

1. Cargo Blu Ray lip gloss. When Cargo originally came out with the Blu Ray line (which I love), they only offered lip goop as a quad compact. I still love my compact, but it's much easier to use the tube instead of having to use my fingers or track down a semi-scummy lip brush. Seriously, if you're going to do a compact of lip goop, you really need to include a brush that stays in the compact. For colors (none of which are actually in the compact, which is weird), I like Vermont and Belize.


2. Sephora Mini Heated Eyelash Curler. I blogged about this one recently, so I won't say anything other than I still love it and I can't call it just a curler, it has to be a Mini Heated Eyelash Curler.


3. Cargo Blu Ray Polishing Cloths. I use these a couple times a week with a basic creamy cleanser and I swear you can feel a huge difference in your skin after using them. I also really like that they're reusable.



4. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer. I've blogged about this before too, so I'll just say one word. Magic.


5. Bare Escentuals Bare Minerals Powder Foundation. Liquid foundation always seems to leave my skin feeling greasy, so I love that this is a powder. It goes on fast and easy and blends in really well with your skin so you don't get that nasty foundation line along your jaw.



6. Jonathan Product Silky Dirt. I have hair issues. My hair is nasty frizzy/wavy (NOT cute curly) and really thick. This means that unless I'm putting my hair up, I have to do something with it, like straighten it. That's why I pretty much always have my hair in a pony tail. But when I do straighten my hair (which takes forever and then some), this stuff finishes it off perfectly. And I love that you only need a tiny bit to do the job.



7. Philosophy Melon Daiquiri Shower Gel. This stuff smells like perfection. It's also perfect to travel with 'cause you can use it as shampoo too.


8. Vera Wang perfume. I love perfume and own waaay too many. Despite all my options, I always come back to this one . . .


9. Burberry London perfume. . . . or this one.


10. Laura Mercier Foundation Primer. This stuff is magic too. It makes a huge difference in how my skin looks and feels when I wear foundation.


11. Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion. I love that this doesn't have a scent. Don't get me wrong, smelly lotions are great too, but I don't like to mix perfume and lotion scents.


12. Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream. I have super dry skin and this is the only moisturizer I can use on my face. Nothing else seems to be strong enough.


13. Apricot Scrub. I actually just use the store brand of this stuff (Target and Wal-Mart are best). I love how clean my skin feels after using it.

yummy beans

I made these baked beans today courtesy of the Barefoot Contessa, via The Amateur Gourmet. They're time intensive, but not overly difficult, and they're definitely not your traditional baked beans. They have chili paste and fresh ginger in them and that gives it a nice kick. The recipe also calls for real maple syrup, but I wasn't willing to spend that much (of my parent's) money, so I used regular pancake syrup. Kinda ghetto, but it turned out fine. I'd like to try this recipe again, but use different beans; maybe Anasazi. Kidney beans have just never been my favorite.

The redecorating pics . . . finally!

I was supposed to post these a month ago, but just haven't gotten around to it. Unfortunately, we didn't take before pictures, so unless you've been in my house before, you can't really appreciate the difference. Anyway, here's what we did:

We live in a split-level house, and there's never been anything up in the stairway/entryway, so we put up a collage frame (carefully making sure each grandchild had the same number of pictures), and vinyl lettering.


We also put up vinyl lettering in the upstairs hallway. A lady in my ward made the letters for us and she did a great job. You can check out her blog and order letters from her here. It was nice to be able to pick the saying we wanted, the color, font, size, etc.


My bathroom used to be periwinkle with a yellow border. It was nice, but after a while it just got to be too bright, so we went with terracotta and brown. I love it!


Our kitchen cabinets used to be just an ugly dark brown, and they were decorated on top with a hodgepodge of different crap that was rarely cleaned or dusted. Kinda nasty. So we painted the cabinets and put all new stuff up top. It looks soooo much better. We also got new barstools because we had had the previous stools since the beginning of time and you took your life and dignity into your hands every time you sat down on them.


And finally, we redid my parents bedroom. It had never really been decorated before; the walls were just plain off-white and the bedding was whatever shade of brown was on sale, I think. My mom had actually picked out the bedding before they went to Spain, so we picked paint and curtain colors based on that, and I think it turned out great.


You can't really tell but the curtains are a gorgeous green and all satiny.


We also put up vinyl words in here too. We originally wanted to put these up in the entryway, but obviously the cream color wouldn't have worked very well. You can also see the wall color better in this picture. It's a great brown, but the flash kinda washes it out in the other pictures.


And those letters really aren't slanted, the picture is just at a weird angle.

Hilarious!

Only on Jezebel

. . . will you find an article debating whether Blossom or Clarissa (from Clarissa Explains it All) is cooler. I love it! And in case you were wondering, I'm on Team Clarissa.

Love it!

10 Awesome Moments from Sesame Street

It's possible that I still sing the Pinball 12 song on occasion. Really, though, who doesn't?!?

I want this

You have got to be kidding me!

So it's been over a month now since I first got sick and it has yet to go away. It keeps getting better so I think I'm in the clear, but then it comes right back. Last night I was feeling fairly good after a day of feeling crappy, and then this morning I woke up with a sore throat and no voice. What the blank?!? Hopefully it'll get better as the day progresses. Keep in mind that this is all after going through a couple rounds of antibiotics, then being told it must be viral and should go away in like 21 days (which was over a week ago). So if anyone wants to bring me soup or a treat or something, feel free.

ehhh

My 10 year high school reunion is coming up this summer and I'm a little freaked out by it. I guess I knew in the back of my mind that it was coming up, but now apparently there is an actual date set. This really shouldn't phase me as I'm like 115% sure that there's no way in you-know-where that I will be going. I think what freaked me out is that there's a group for this reunion on Facebook and I looked through all the pages of people who are members. It was weird to see everyone. Actually, no, weird isn't the word. Disturbing is more appropriate. For a moment (or ten) I felt like I was back in high school. I'm pretty sure I don't need to relive that misery again. So anyway, I don't know what the point of this post was supposed to be, other than now I'm having a slight panic attack at the thought of all these former classmates descending upon my town come July.

a pet peeve

It's not what you say, but how you say it. I seem to be surrounded by people who don't understand this. Unless you're my parent, DO NOT tell me what to do. Know why? Because even if it's the easiest thing in the world, I will refuse to do it, just because you told me to. However, if you would like to ASK me if I would mind doing something, then I would be more than happy to oblige you. There are several variations of this whole trying to get me to do something. For example:

• DO NOT say you'll "let me" do something. As in, "I'll let you get my bags for me." Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for LETTING me do that.
• DO NOT say "you really should do that." Maybe I really should, but I won't because of the way you said it.
  
• DO NOT ask me if I can do something on a certain day and then when I say I can, proceed to tell me that you have already scheduled it at such and such a time. Probably you should ask me BEFORE you make the appointment whether this time on this date works for me.

O.k., I'm done bitching (for at least a little while). I feel slightly better having expressed myself in all caps words.

I'm really done now, I promise!

They just don't make 'em like they used to!

One more

Remember this?

I need to vomit

I just made The Pioneer Woman's monkey bread and I ate waaaaay too much of it. It's that good. You should make it too.

Can you handle it?

Remember that show Kids Incorporated from the 80s/early 90s? Remember how cool it was? Well, watching it now, it's not quite so cool as I remember. Check out the links below to watch a bunch of 9-15 year olds covering some of the classics. (Songs from 20 years ago can be classics, right?)

Here I Go Again (This song without Tawny Kitaen is just wrong.)
Faith (Notice how they change the first line to make it more child friendly.)
Physical (Now admittedly, when I first heard this song, I totally thought it was about exercising, but I was like 6. Where are the adults who work on this show?)
Smooth Criminal (20 plus years later, I still don't know who Annie is.)
Straight Up (Can you believe that's Fergie? Oh, how meth can age a person!)

Oh, and since we're reminiscing, remember this, this, this and this (I miss this show. It needs to be released on DVD.)?

Ahhh, memories!

Wait for the dollar movies

We saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past tonight and yeah, it kinda sucked. I actually had to nudge Lorri part way through because she was snoring too loudly. There were a few funny parts, but definitely don't waste your money seeing it full price.

Oh, and a little side note: To the girls who were sitting behind us . . . count your blessings that I'm still kinda sick and don't have a lot of energy because if I had been fully functioning, I would have been coming over the seats to beat you down for 1.) kicking my seat about 50 times too many, 2.) taking your shoes off and exposing me to the nasty stank of your feet (if I can smell it in my weakened nasal condition, you know it's bad) and 3.) talking and laughing (not at the actual movie) through pretty much the whole thing. I had fantasies of turning around and throwing my drink at their heads, but I just didn't have it in me tonight.

He's all grown up!

My little (yet absurdly tall) brother got his mission call yesterday! He's going to the Chile Vina del Mar mission. Judging from what I have read about Vina del Mar on the ultimate source of knowledge, I'm going to need to head down there in a couple years to pick him up.

I heart The Zefron

Last night Lorri and I went to see 17 Again.

It started a little slow, but soon I was laughing so hard I was crying. If you've seen it, or if you're going to go see it, the first scene with Ned and the principal is my favorite. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to see this movie several more times in the near future.

The fam is back!

My parents and brother got back from Spain last week. They had been running BYU's Study Abroad program in Madrid (Mark was actually there as a student) and had been gone since the end of December. I never really talked about this on my blog because I'm a baby and didn't want just anyone who might happen to read this to know that my roommate and I were alone in the house for four months.

While my family was gone, Lorri (the roommate) and I did some redecorating around the house. I have pictures, but they're on a different computer, so you'll get 'em when you get 'em.

As soon as the fam got back, we went to Vegas to see the nieces/grandkids (and their parents, but that's not what matters). It wouldn't be a trip to Vegas without gracing Sephora with my presence. Don't laugh, but I bought this:

It's a mini heated eyelash curler. I love it. If I get around to it, I'll post before and after pics because I know you're that interested.