Monday, November 24, 2008


Shortly before heading up to Star Valley yesterday, Lorri and I found out that a friend of ours overdosed and died. Ty is our sixth friend from treatment to OD in the past three years. That's just how it goes in the addict world. It's been over a year since the last death and I've gotten perhaps a little too comfortable, so this really caught me off guard. It still doesn't quite seem real. Oddly enough, Ty is from Star Valley, so we went and visited his mom this morning. We just spent a minute with her but it was kind of surreal. I can't even imagine losing a child. I don't even want to think about it.

Every time another person dies I get angry. Going through rehab you meet all sorts of people and it seems like it's always the best ones who die. It's not the jerks who add absolutely nothing to society; it's the sweet, genuinely kind-hearted ones. It pisses me off that if someone has to go, it seems to always be the good ones.

I also hate that this will never end. There will never come a time when friends will stop dying. I'm only 27; friends aren't supposed to die this often until I'm old. And when I say six people, I'm only counting the ones I actually attended treatment with. If we want to talk about people I know from the program, the numbers shoot way up.

Addiction is such a horrible thing and it is so misunderstood. I don't think you get it unless you've been through it. Too often society seems to blame the addict and assume that they are choosing to use, when in reality, addiction is a disease. And yes, there are things you can do to manage it, but there is no way of curing it. All too often people ask why, when we see the damage we're causing ourselves and those around us, we don't just stop. I really wish we could. If we could just stop using and change the way we think, life would be a whole lot easier. But it just doesn't work that way.

Alright, that's enough sadness for now.


Ginny said...

That is so sad about Ty. One doesn't go to rehab because its fun its because life is miserable so to think it was almost four years ago we were all there. I feel horrible thinking about what his last four years must have been like for him. It's almost a cliche in the addict world to say this but hopefully he is finally at peace.

Ginny said...

wait a minute what do you mean only the good ones die. Geez Ms. Billy Joel some of us do read your blog. Oh I get it you must mean Cur&*S? Oh wait was I the only one to get in a fight with him? P.S. only trying to lighten the mood. Never would I ever wish death on anyone FUR REAL.

Kim said...

I think you were the only one to get in a fight with him, but that's just 'cause the rest of us were being polite. Ooh, ooh, ooh! And do you remember that one chick who lasted like a week? I think her name was Janeece or something. Remember how she went around the circle, pointed to each person and was like I don't trust you or you or you, etc. Also, remember when Vance died? Maybe it was just because he was the first or because I visited him in the hospital before they pulled the plug, but him dying was seriously traumatic. I will never, ever forget that. Or Dave. That was bad too.